A Practical Guide to Surrender: Letting Go of What You Can't Fix

We all like to feel like we’re in control. Surrender to someone else? Never.

We plan, schedule, organize, and map out the future as if we were the ones holding the world together. But if we’re honest, most of us are just one unexpected phone call, job change, or diagnosis away from realizing that control is more illusion than reality.

The truth is, we were never meant to carry it all. We weren’t created to know everything, fix everything, or manage everyone. But letting go of control doesn’t mean giving up—it means trading pressure for peace and performance for trust.

In a world that screams, “Take charge!” and “Be the boss of your life,” Jesus whispers something better: “Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

Letting go isn’t weakness. It’s the path to freedom.

Why Do We Cling to Control?

So why do we cling so tightly to control?

I believe the root of it is fear—fear of the unknown, fear of pain, fear of failure, fear that if we don’t take care of everything, no one will.

Control gives us the illusion of safety. It convinces us that if we plan enough, worry enough, or work hard enough, we can prevent the worst-case scenario. But the problem is, fear doesn’t disappear when we take control—it grows.

The more we try to control people, outcomes, and circumstances, the more anxious and frustrated we become. Why? Because deep down, we know we’re not built to carry that weight. God didn’t design us to be all-knowing or all-powerful. That’s His job.

Fear says, “If I let go, something bad might happen.”

Faith says, “Even if I let go, God is still good.”

Letting go of control starts by recognizing that fear isn’t our friend—it’s a liar. And the only way to silence it is to trust the One who sees the whole story.

Acknowledge the Limit of Your Understanding

Proverbs 3:5–6 says:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.”

This verse is a life-giving invitation—and a challenge.

God doesn’t ask us to understand everything. He asks us to trust Him above everything. That means even when life doesn’t make sense, even when prayers go unanswered, even when doors close that we hoped would open—we trust that His plan is better.

Our understanding is limited. It’s shaped by our past, influenced by our emotions, and often clouded by what we want rather than what we need. But God’s perspective is eternal. He sees the whole picture, from beginning to end. What feels like a setback to us might actually be a setup for something greater.

Surrender begins when we stop demanding answers and start walking in faith.

Letting go isn’t saying, “I don’t care anymore.” It’s saying, “God, I trust You more than I trust myself.”

Step 1: Identify What You Can’t Control

Let’s get practical. If we want to let go of control, we need to first name the things we can’t control.

We can’t control:

• The decisions other people make

• The timing of events in our lives

• How others feel about us

• What tomorrow brings

• The past or how it unfolded

Holding onto these things only wears us down. It leads to bitterness, anxiety, and disappointment.

Take five minutes and make a list of the things that are weighing you down. Ask yourself:

“Can I actually control this?” If not, hand it over to God.

This isn’t just a mental exercise—it’s a spiritual discipline. It’s recognizing the limits of your humanity and acknowledging the sovereignty of God.

Jesus never asked you to carry what He already promised to handle.

Step 2: Shift Your Focus to What You Can Influence

While there are many things we can’t control, there are also things we can influence—and that’s where our energy should go.

You can control:

• Your attitude and how you respond

• The words you speak

• The way you treat others

• Whether or not you spend time with God

• What you choose to believe

When we shift our focus from what we can’t control to what we can influence, we reclaim peace.

Instead of obsessing over what someone else might do, focus on how you’ll respond with grace. Instead of trying to manipulate outcomes, focus on staying faithful in the little things. Instead of playing out every “what if” scenario, lean into the truth that God is still working—even in silence.

Letting go isn’t passive. It’s choosing to stay grounded in what matters most, and trusting God to handle the rest.

Step 3: Cultivate Trust Through Prayer and Reflection

Trust isn’t automatic. It’s something we build—and the way we build it is through prayer and reflection.

Prayer isn’t just a last resort. It’s a daily conversation with the God who holds it all. It’s where we release what we can’t carry and receive the peace that surpasses understanding (Philippians 4:6–7).

If you’re struggling to let go, try this prayer:

“God, I release this to You. I trust You with what I don’t understand. Help me loosen my grip and rest in Your goodness today.”

Reflection is just as important. When we look back and see how God has carried us through before, it strengthens our faith for what we’re facing now.

Keep a “God Came Through” journal. Write down prayers answered, doors opened, peace provided, and strength given. When you feel like grabbing the reins again, open that journal and remember—He was faithful then, and He will be faithful now.

Step 4: Embrace Imperfection and Let Go of Expectations

A major reason we struggle with control is because we also struggle with expectations.

We want life to look a certain way. We want timelines to play out on schedule. We want our plans to succeed. And when they don’t? We panic, we strive harder, or we spiral into disappointment.

But here’s the thing: God’s plan is often different—and better—than our expectations.

Letting go means embracing the truth that we won’t always get it right. Life won’t always go according to script. And that’s okay.

God isn’t looking for perfection. He’s looking for trust.

Let yourself be human. Let your faith breathe. Let your story unfold in the hands of a God who is never surprised, never overwhelmed, and never late.

It’s okay if you’re not okay. God’s love doesn’t change based on your performance. His grace doesn’t run out when you mess up. And His plan isn’t derailed by your imperfection.

Sometimes the most freeing thing you can do is simply say:

“God, I give You permission to write a better story than the one I had in mind.”

Enjoy the Freedom of Letting Go

Letting go of control isn’t something you do once—it’s a way of life. It’s waking up every day and choosing surrender over striving. It’s breathing out anxiety and breathing in grace. It’s trusting the God who holds the future, even when the present feels shaky. Letting go doesn’t mean you stop caring. It means you start trusting. It doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re wise enough to know Who’s actually in charge. And in that surrender, you’ll find something better than control.

You’ll find peace.

You’ll find freedom.

And most of all—you’ll find Jesus.

Listen to the companion podcast episode Letting Go of Control.

Blessings.