When You Realize You've Been Neglecting a Friendship

Pak Yan and Joe Chan grew up on the same streets in

Hong Kong, closer than most brothers. Then, in 1962, Joe's

family left for America, and the two boys did the only thing they

could. They wrote handwritten ones on airmail paper, back and

forth across an ocean. For a while, the letters kept the

friendship alive, but people move and the dresses change. One

letter went unanswered, and after that, the writing stopped.

The years piled up until there were 38 of them. Pak never quite

let go of Joe. He grew up and eventually moved to America

himself. Somewhere along the way, he decided he was going to find

his friend. So he sat down at his computer and searched the

name Joe Chan. The screen gave him 108 people, all strangers,

and maybe one of them was the boy he used to know. He started

dialing. He left one voicemail after another, working down the

list, most calls going nowhere. We'll come back to whether he

found him. But first,

welcome to Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. I'm Bart Leger.

There's a friend I was close to. Someone who mattered to me, and

I can't tell you the last time we talked. Nothing went wrong

between us. Life just filled up. If you've got a name like that

in your head right now, then you and I are in the same boat.

we can't quite remember when we stopped calling. Life sped up,

and new responsibilities came in. And somewhere along the way, the

calls got rarer, then stopped, and neither of you meant for it

to happen. Then, one day, their name crosses your mind, and you

realize how long it's been, and a wave of embarrassment hits.

You think about reaching out, and right behind that thought

comes the excuses. Oh, it's been too long, and they've probably

forgotten all about it. They might not even want to hear from

me. And that's just an excuse. But God's Word doesn't let us

off the hook. Listen to Proverbs 27.10.

Solomon's not just talking about betrayal here. He's also talking

about the slow forsaking, the kind that happens by neglect.

When a good friendship dies because nobody tended it. That's

the thing about friendships. They need active tending, or

they fade. Nobody is going to send you a reminder. No alert

pops up to tell you, It's been eight months since you talked to

someone you once knew better than almost anyone. So here's

what to do with the friend on your mind. First, drop the story

you've been telling yourself about how they must feel. You

can't know for sure. The person may be waiting for you to call,

wondering why you disappeared, Or, maybe embarrassed too,

feeling the same guilt you are, each of you waiting for the

other to go first. go first anyway. The way through the

awkwardness is simpler than you think. a text that says, I've

been thinking about you, and I'm sorry it's been so long. That's

it. You don't need a speech or an excuse. Most of the time, the

one message is all it takes to open the door again. On the

104th call, a voice called him back. It was Joe. After 38 years

and 103 dead ends, the two of them were talking again, and Joe

felt like they had just picked up where they left off. These

days, they meet every week for a bike ride and dinner. Two old

friends who almost lost each other to nothing more than time.

All it took was one of them refusing to quit dialing. Think

about what almost kept those two apart. It was nothing more than

time, and the assumption that too much of it had passed. Pack

could have looked at 38 years and decided it was too late.

Instead, he kept dialing through 103 wrong numbers to find one

friend. You probably don't have 100 calls to make. You have one

text to send. And the friend on the other end may have been

hoping you would. Here's today's challenge. Bring to mind one

friend you've been meaning to reach out to. Don't wait until

you have the perfect words or a good enough reason for the

silence. Today, send the text. I've been thinking about you. Or

make the call. And I'm sorry it's been so long. Then hit send

before the excuse talks you out of it. You're not too late, and

that friendship is probably more reachable than the fear is

telling you. Father, thank you for the friends you've given us

over the years, even the ones we've let drift. Forgive us for

the friendships we've neglected and the ones we let slide when

life got busy. Give us the humility to go first, to send

the message and own the silence. And where our friendship has

grown cold, you can warm it up again with something as small as

one simple text or a phone call. Thank you that it's rarely as

late as we fear. In Jesus' name, amen. If Daily Devotions for

Busy Lives has been an encouragement to you, would you

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slash reviews slash new. I'd be so grateful. And thanks for

joining me on Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. Remember,

friendships fade by neglect, and they come back when someone goes

first. Be the one who sends the text or makes the phone call,

because it's rarely as late as you think. Come back next time

for more encouragement to help you live grounded in God's truth.

Until then, God bless and have a great day.