Rebuilding Intimacy in Marriage
Has your marriage slowly drifted from deep connection to just managing life together? In this episode, discover how small, intentional steps can rebuild spiritual and emotional intimacy and invite God back to the center of your marriage.
Has your marriage slowly drifted from deep connection to just managing life together? In this episode, discover how small, intentional steps can rebuild spiritual and emotional intimacy and invite God back to the center of your marriage.
Have you ever looked across the table at your spouse and realized you're sharing a house but not really sharing your hearts?
It doesn't happen overnight. There's no dramatic moment where you decide to stop connecting. It's the slow erosion of a thousand small choices, too tired to talk, defaulting to screens, replacing prayer with separate routines, letting logistics take over every conversation. Before you know it, you're functioning as co-managers of a household instead of two souls walking through life together.
In this episode, we look at the story of Gary and Barb Rosberg, a couple who had drifted into coexistence. The painful irony? Gary is a marriage counselor who spent his days helping other couples reconnect while his own marriage was running on autopilot. Instead of waiting for a crisis, they got honest with each other and began rebuilding with small, intentional steps, daily check-ins, praying together before bed, and scheduling time to talk without an agenda.
Through their story and Ecclesiastes 4:9–10, you'll see that God designed marriage to be more than proximity; it's meant to reflect His covenant love, deep, pursuing, and intentional. Reconnecting doesn't start with a vacation or a vow renewal. It starts with one honest conversation, praying together, and choosing your spouse over your schedule. And it's never too late to invite God back to the center.
BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU'LL DISCOVER:
- Why the slow drift from intimacy to coexistence is so common, and so dangerous
- How small, daily acts of turning toward each other can rebuild what years of busyness have eroded
- Three simple practices you can start this week to reconnect spiritually and emotionally with your spouse
God designed marriage to reflect His love, deep, pursuing, and intentional. It doesn't coast, but it's never too late to rebuild.
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Gary Rosberg and his wife Barb had settled into a routine
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of coexistence, sharing a house and raising kids, paying bills,
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but rarely connecting heart to heart. The irony? Gary is a
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marriage counselor who spends his days helping other couples
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reconnect. Gary and Barb were living as roommates, not
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partners. Two people under one roof, but not really sharing
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their lives. And the irony? It was painful. He was teaching
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others how to fix their marriages while his own was
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running on autopilot. How could a couple who know all the right
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answers still feel emotionally
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disconnected? Welcome to Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. I'm
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Bart Leger, and today we're talking about the slow drift
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that quietly erodes many marriages. thfs and torrents.
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Over time, the daily grind of bills, kids, and
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responsibilities can reduce a marriage to a business
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partnership. What started off as an intimate partnership ends up
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with two people sharing a roof, but not sharing their hearts,
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not sharing the important things in their lives.
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reflect his deep, covenantal love. Reconnecting starts not
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with a grand gesture, but with small, deliberate acts of
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turning toward each other and inviting God back into the
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center. Ecclesiastes 4: 9-10 says, two people are better off
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than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person
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falls, the other can reach out and help, but someone who falls
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alone is in real trouble. That verse paints a picture of
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partnership. Not just two people living in close proximity, but
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two people who lean on each other and reach out when one
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stumbles. It's a mutually beneficial relationship. They
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help each other succeed, not just being there when the other
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person falls. That's what a marriage is designed to be. But
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in real life, many marriages slowly drift into something less
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than that. You're in the same house, but you're on different
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schedules. You handle logistics together, who's picking up the
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kids, what's for dinner, when's the next payment due, but your
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hearts haven't really touched in weeks, maybe even months. You're
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more like roommates or business partners, not as two souls
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joined together. It usually doesn't happen overnight.
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There's no dramatic moment where you decide to stop connecting.
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It's the slow erosion of a thousand small choices. You're
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too tired to talk at the end of the day. You default to screens
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instead of conversation. You stop asking each other how
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you're really doing. prayer together gets replaced by
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separate routines and date nights. They're a distant memory.
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And one day you look across the table and you realize you're
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living with someone you love, but don't really know anymore.
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God designed marriage to be more than that. In Genesis, he said
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the two shall become one flesh. That's not just physical. It's
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spiritual and emotional and relational. Marriage is meant to
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reflect God's covenant love, the kind of love that pursues, that
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doesn't give up, the kind of love that says, I'm choosing you
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today, even when it's hard. But covenant love requires
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intentionality. It doesn't coast along. If you stop investing,
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you start drifting. And the distance that builds between two
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people who live under the same roof can feel lonelier than
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actually being alone. So how do you rebuild? First, just get
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honest. Honest each other. Admit where you are. Not with blame or
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accusation, but with humility. "We've drifted. I miss us. Can
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we talk about this?" That kind of vulnerability is scary. I
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know that. But it's the doorway to reconnection. Second, start
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small. You don't necessarily need a weekend getaway or a
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dramatic vow renewal. Simply start with a daily check-in. Ten
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minutes where you actually ask each other, "How are you,
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really?" Put the phones down, look each other in the eyes, and
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then listen without trying to fix. Then third, pray together.
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This one is simple, but I believe extremely powerful. Many
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couples tell me it's the single most intimate thing they do.
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Even a short prayer before bed, "Lord, bless our marriage and
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draw us closer to you and to each other" can begin to shift
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the atmosphere of your relationship. Fourth, choose
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your spouse over your schedule. Guard your time together the way
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you guard important meetings. If your calendar doesn't have room
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for your marriage then something needs to change. Let's get back
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to Gary and Barb Rosberg's story. Instead of waiting for a crisis
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to force change, "I'm not going to be a good one." They got
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honest with each other and began rebuilding with small
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intentional steps. Things like daily check-ins, praying
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together before bed, and scheduling time to simply talk
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without an agenda or a to-do list. No grand romantic gesture,
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just two people choosing to turn toward each other again. Those
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small acts rebuilt what years of busyness had eroded. They later
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founded America's family coaches teaching other couples that
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marriage doesn't coast. It requires daily attention.
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Reconnecting doesn't start with a vacation or a vow renewal. It
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starts with one honest conversation, praying together
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and choosing your spouse over your schedule, choosing your
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spouse over other things. God designed marriage to reflect his
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deep pursuing love and it's intentional and it's never too
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late to invite God back to the center. more like a business
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partnership right now. Maybe you've been in the same house
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but on different planets. Maybe you can't remember the last time
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you had a real conversation that wasn't about logistics or the
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kids or the bills. It's not too late. God is in the business of
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restoring what's been eroded and he often starts with the
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smallest steps. Here's today's challenge. This week, try one of
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these three things with your spouse. Have a 10-minute
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check-in where phones are away and you ask each other, "How are
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you really doing?" Then pray together before bed. Even if
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it's just one sentence each, begin with prayer, and then
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schedule one block of time this week, even if it's just 30
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minutes to be together without an And then pray something like,
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"Lord, we've drifted. Please draw us back together and back
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to you. Help us to be intentional with this marriage
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you've given I know marriage hard and the drift is real. Some
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of us are living under the same roof but barely connecting heart
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to heart. Forgive us for putting our schedules ahead of our
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spouses and rekindle what busyness has eroded and taken
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away from us. Help us to turn toward each other with honesty
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and humility, yourself back to the center of our marriages. We
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need you in Jesus' name, amen. If this episode encouraged you,
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would you share it with a couple who might need this reminder?
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Just send them the link from the show notes. They may need to
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hear that it's never too late to rebuild. Thanks for joining me
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on Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. Remember, God designed
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marriage to reflect His deep pursuing love. And it's
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intentional. Reconnecting starts with small, deliberate steps,
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healing on healing, and inviting God back to the center of your
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lives. Come back next time for more encouragement to help you
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live grounded in God's truth. Until then, God bless and have a
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great day.
