When You're the One Everyone Leans On
Always the strong one everyone calls on but quietly running on empty yourself? In this episode, discover why the person everyone leans on still needs someone to lean on, and how God can send you an Aaron and Hur to hold up your arms.
Always the strong one everyone calls on but quietly running on empty yourself? In this episode, discover why the person everyone leans on still needs someone to lean on, and how God can send you an Aaron and Hur to hold up your arms.
Have you ever cared for everyone around you and then realized nobody was caring for you?
You're the one your family calls in a crisis. You're the shoulder everyone cries on. You're the dependable one who holds it all together, at home, at church, at work. And you do it because you love the people in your life. But over time, constant giving without receiving drains your soul dry. You smile on the outside while running on fumes on the inside. And nobody thinks to ask how you're doing because you've always been the strong one.
In this episode, we look at the story of Barbara Rainey, who found herself caught between aging parents who needed more help and growing children who still needed their mom. She was flying back and forth, managing medical decisions from a distance, carrying guilt in every direction, and quietly falling apart under the weight of being the one everyone leaned on. Those years nearly broke her—not because she didn't love her family, but because she never stopped giving long enough to receive.
Through her story and Exodus 17:12, you'll see that even Moses, doing exactly what God called him to do, ran out of strength. His arms grew tired, and he needed Aaron and Hur to hold them up. Accepting help wasn't weakness. It was the reason Israel won the battle. The person everyone leans on still needs someone to lean on, and ultimately that someone is God Himself.
BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU'LL DISCOVER:
- Why caregiver fatigue is not selfishness or a lack of faith, it's the natural result of giving more than you're taking in
- How Exodus 17:12 gives you permission to sit down, ask for help, and let others hold up your arms
- Two practical steps you can take this week to receive care instead of just giving it
You don't have to hold your arms up forever. God never asked you to be superhuman; He asked you to lean on Him.
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Barbara Rainey found herself caught between two
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worlds. Aging parents who needed more help and growing children
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who still needed their mom. She was flying back and forth to
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visit her mother, managing medical decisions from a
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distance, and trying to be fully present at home for her own kids.
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She was the one everyone called on and leaned on. She was
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expected to be the one who was supposed to hold it all together.
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But she constantly felt guilty. When she was with her parents,
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she felt like she should be with her kids. When she was with her
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kids, she felt that she should be with her parents. What can
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you do when you find yourself in that situation?
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Welcome to Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. I'm Bart Leger, and
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today we're talking to the person everyone leans on. The
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one who's always strong and always available, and they're
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always holding it together for everyone else. Some people are
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always the strong ones others call on. They're the shoulder
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everyone turns to cry on.
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for a sick loved one. But constantly giving without
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receiving can eventually suck the very life out of you. Even
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Jesus got away from the crowds from time to time to be alone
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with the Father. needs someone to lean on, and ultimately, that
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someone is God himself. Jesus' arms soon became so tired he
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could no longer hold them up.
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Moses' hands held steady until sunset. Moses was leading Israel
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through a battle. As long as his arms were raised, Israel was
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winning. But his arms got tired. He couldn't hold them up on his
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own anymore. But he was doing exactly what God had called him
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to do, and he still ran out of strength. So what happened?
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Aaron and Hur found a stone for him to sit on, stood on either
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side of him, and held up his arms until the battle was over.
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Moses needed help. And he didn't refuse it or try to power on. He
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let others help him, Israel won. If you're the person everyone
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leans on, this story's for you. Because the truth is, you can't
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hold your arms up forever. No matter how strong you are, no
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matter how much you love the people you're caring for,
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constant giving without receiving will eventually drain
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you dry. Maybe you're the one your family calls on when
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there's a crisis. Maybe you're caring for an aging parent while
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still raising your own children. Maybe you're the friend everyone
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turns to when life falls apart, but nobody thinks to ask how
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you're doing. Maybe you're a pastor, a counselor, a nurse, a
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teacher, a full-time mom, someone whose entire day is
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spent pouring into others, and at the end of the day, when
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everyone else has been cared for, who cares for you? Caregiver
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fatigue is real. It's the natural result of giving more
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than you're taking in. And if you don't address it, you won't
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just burn out. You'll eventually break down. Even Jesus modeled
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this. He healed the sick and taught the crowds and comforted
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the grieving, and then he withdrew. Luke 5.6 says, But
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Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer. What he
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did was deliberately pull away from the needs pressing in on
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him to be alone with his father. If Jesus needed that, you do too.
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So what do you do when you're the one everyone else leans on?
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First, give yourself permission to sit down. Like Moses on that
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stone, you don't have to stand all the time. Resting isn't
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giving up on your responsibilities. You need to
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recognize that you're human and that God never asked you to be
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anything else. He didn't ask you to be superhuman. Then second,
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you let others hold up your arms. You weren't designed to carry
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everyone by yourself. Ask for help, and then accept help. Let
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your spouse, your friends, your church, and your community step
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in and share the load. And don't think that you're a failure.
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That's how God designed the body of Christ to work. And then
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third, you lean on God himself. Ultimately, he is the one who
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sustains you. Even when others don't show up for you, he won't
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fail you. Come to him honestly and say something like, Lord,
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I'm exhausted. I've been giving and giving, and I have nothing
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left. Would you hold me up? Barbara freely admits that those
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years nearly broke her. Not because she didn't love her
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family, but because constant giving without receiving drained
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her soul dry. She had to stop pretending she could do it all
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and start asking for help. She turned to her husband, Dennis,
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and friends, but most importantly, she turned to God.
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and holiest of her life because they forced her to lean on God
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in ways she never had before. The person everyone leans on
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still needs someone to lean on. So if you're stretched thin and
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running on empty while carrying everyone else, you have
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permission to sit down, ask for help, and then let God send you
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an errand and her. Maybe today you needed someone to say that
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to you. You have permission to not be strong all the time. You
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have permission to say, I need help. And you have permission to
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sit down on the stone and let someone else hold up your arms
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for a while. Here's today's challenge. If you've been
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running on empty while carrying for everyone around you, do two
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things this week. First, identify one person you trust
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and ask them for specific help. Not a vague, I'm tired, but
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something real. Can you take the kids Saturday so I can rest? Or,
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can you sit with my mom one day this week so I can have a break?
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Second, take ten minutes a day to be alone with God. Not to
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pray for everyone else, but to let Him take care of you. Pray,
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Lord, I've been holding everyone else up and I'm running out of
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strength. Be my Erin and her today. Hold me up, sustain me,
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and remind me that I don't have to carry this alone. Lord, you
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see the ones who are always giving, always caring, and
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they're always strong for everyone else. You know they're
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running on empty, and today, would you be their rest? Send
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them an Erin and her and give them permission to sit down.
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Remind them that needing help is not a sign of weakness. And
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sustain them with your strength when theirs runs out. In Jesus'
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name, amen. If you're the one everyone leans on and you need
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prayer today, I'd love to lift you up in prayer. Leave me a
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voicemail at dailydevotionsforbusylives.com
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slash voicemail, and I'll pray for you by name. Thanks for
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joining me today on Daily Devotions for Busy Lives.
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Remember, the person everyone leans on still needs someone to
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lean on, and that someone is God himself. Come back next time for
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more encouragement to help you live grounded in God's truth.
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Until then, God bless, and have a great day.
