What to Do When You Feel Guilty for Being Okay

Johanna had a good life, and it bothered her. Her

family was close, and her faith had pretty steady through the

ordinary ups and downs. From the outside, nothing was falling

apart. And that was the problem. Everywhere she looked, other

people were shouldering loads she couldn't even imagine. A

friend was going through chemo. Another woman at church watched

her marriage come undone. Beyond her own circle, she read about

believers overseas who paid for their faith with everything they

had. A thought took root. She had no business having things

this good. So she did what a lot of us do with that kind of guilt.

She tried to pay it back. She said yes to every request and

made every need her own. If she could empty herself out far

enough, maybe she'd earned the right to a life that came easier

than most it did not work. The more she poured out, the more

there was to pour. She started running on fumes, and she

couldn't understand why. Doing so much good left her feeling

like she was going under. We'll come back to what changed for

her, but

first, welcome to Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. I'm

Bart Leger. I think I know a little bit about how Johanna

feels. As a pastor, I spent much of my career with people in the

worst stretch of their lives. They've just lost a loved one. A

marriage is falling apart. A diagnosis. And then I drive home

to a house that's still standing, to a wife I love, to a life that

mostly works. There have been plenty of days when that felt

almost wrong, like I hadn't earned the right to be okay

while the person I had just prayed with was falling apart.

Maybe you felt a version of that, too. Maybe you felt a version of

that, too. Your marriage is solid. Theirs is ending. Your

kids are doing fine while someone else's are in crisis.

And instead of being grateful, you almost feel ashamed of it.

You catch yourself hiding in the good news, downplaying the

vacation, because it feels cruel to be okay when someone you love

is not. Somewhere in there, you start to believe you don't have

permission to enjoy your own life while another person is in

pain. That guilt is pretty common. And it comes from a

decent It means you love people and you notice their pain. But

left alone, it does something strange. It makes you think you

need to apologize for the very thing God gave you. And it can

push you to do what Johanna did, to try to pay off your blessing

by pouring yourself out until there's nothing left. There's a

better way to think about what you have, and Paul spelled it

out. Listen to 2 Corinthians 1, verses 3 and 4. Did you hear

that? God comforts us so that we can comfort others. And that

comfort is a supply given to be passed on. God pours peace and

stability into your life on purpose. And part of that

purpose is the hurting person he's going to put in front of

you. Your stable marriage is a resource. The peace you have is

something God is placing in your hands to hand someone who has

none right now. That changes what you do with being okay. And

I know that sometimes you're not okay, but God does give the

grace, and you can pass that grace on. You don't have to hide

it. And you don't have to burn it down out of guilt. You get to

be grateful for it, and then you get to spend it on other people.

the strength of yours to hold on to for an afternoon. So take the

guilt that God says, For years she'd assumed the answer was to

try harder. Then a verse she'd read a hundred times arrested

her attention. The one where God says he wants obedience more

than sacrifice. Johanna saw that she'd been trying to sacrifice

her way out of a gift, the guilt that had never come from God.

for her to take his kindness and then to comfort other people out

of the fullness she'd been given. She stopped apologizing for

being okay. And for the first time in a long while, she had

something that she could offer to others without feeling guilty.

Notice what changed things for her. She finally received the

gift instead of trying to pay it off. Once she took God's

kindness in it, she had something to give, and she gave

it without the shame attached. Here's today's challenge. Think

of one person in your life right now who's not okay. Instead of

shrinking back because your life is more stable than theirs,

offer them something out of what you have. Bring the meal or take

their kids for the afternoon so they can breathe. Lead with the

comfort God has already given you and pass a little of it on.

You'll find you're not running out. You're finally doing what

the comfort was for. Father, thank you for the good you've

put in our lives, the stability we sometimes feel guilty about.

Forgive us for treating your gifts like debts to be repaid.

Help us receive your comfort without shame, and then help us

spend it on the people around us who are hurting. Make us the

ones who come with something to offer. And thank you that

everything we have to give, we first received from you. In

Jesus' name, amen. If this episode encouraged you today,

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might make a real difference in someone's day. Thanks for

joining me on Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. Remember, the

peace you have is meant to be passed on. Be grateful for what

you've been given, and then put it to work for someone who needs

it. Come back next time for more encouragement to help you live

grounded in God's truth. Until then, God bless and have a great

day.