When You Can't Stop Thinking About Someone Who Hurt You

Lisa Turkhurst led a growing ministry and had a

family she loved. She and her husband had been married for

years. Then she found out he had been unfaithful. The affair hurt.

But there was a second pain that came after, and it lived

entirely in her head. her mind kept playing the betrayal back

to her. The details, the words he had said, she would be doing

something ordinary, folding clothes or driving, and the

whole thing would start up again, and she would feel it as if it

were happening for the first time. She described how the

memories would ambush her without warning. Forgiving the

man was one battle. Getting her own mind to stop rehearsing what

he had done was another entirely. We'll come back to what Lisa

learned. But

first, welcome to Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. I'm

Bart Leger. When somebody wrongs me or I've been in an argument,

I replay the argument in my head. Over and over. I'll be driving

or trying to fall asleep, and there I am, back in the

conversation, saying the witty thing I wish I had said. Winning

the exchange, I already lost. I can run that loop a dozen times.

Over a thing that lasted maybe 30 seconds when it happened. It

never once made me feel better. It just kept the wound open and

handed the person who hurt me free rent in my head. Maybe you

know the loop that I mean. Some wounds don't stay in the past.

They move into your head, and they take up residence. You

replay the conversation or the thing they said you can't unhear.

And every time you run it, you feel it again, fresh, like it

just happened. That's what makes it so exhausting. You're not

being hurt once. You're being hurt on a loop, and it can go on

and on for years before you notice what it's costing you.

There's a promise in Isaiah for a mind that won't settle down.

Listen to Isaiah 26.3.

Perfect peace for the person whose thoughts are fixed on God.

Notice the word fixed. Older translations say stayed, whose

mind is stayed on you. That takes effort to fix your mind on

something. to stay your mind on something is to keep bringing it

back on purpose again and again, the way you'd hold a boat

straight against a current. Here's what that means for the

replay that's going on in your head. You can't always stop the

memory from arriving. It ambushes you. comes maybe when

you're folding laundry, doing the same thing as Lisa did. But

you can decide what you do next. When the loop starts, you don't

have to press play one more time. you can catch it and turn your

attention to God, and then do it again the next time it starts,

and the time after that. Every time you refuse to rerun the

harm, you take back a little of the ground it stole. And hear me

on this. The harm happened. The hurt took place. And I'm not

asking you to pretend that it didn't. What you're choosing is

to stop reopening a wound you want healed. Some wounds only

close when you finally stop picking at them. Handing the

memory over to God over and over is how you let him do the

healing you can't do by reliving it. That's the work Lisa had to

do. Lisa came to see forgiveness as a daily choice. One she had

to make again every time the replay started. When the loop

kicked in, she had to catch it and hand it back to God instead

of pressing play one more time. Her marriage didn't survive. And

she had said so openly. But she refused to let the endless

replay of it run the rest of her life. She wrote what she learned

in a book called Forgiving What You Can't Forget. And she built

a new life on the far side of the loop she finally learned to

turn off. Forgiveness is a daily choice. Every time the replay

started, she caught it and handed it back to God instead of

pressing play. Her marriage didn't survive, but the loop

didn't get to run her life. She turned it off one interruption

at a time and built something new on the other side. You can

learn to turn it off, too. Here's today's challenge. Notice

the next time the replay starts. The conversation, the moment you

keep rewinding. The second you catch it, name it for what it is.

I'm doing it again. Then say a short prayer and turn your

attention somewhere else. Turn it to God or to the task in

front of you. You'll have to do it again, maybe in an hour. And

again tomorrow, possibly. Each interruption is how a mind gets

retrained. Every one is a small win, and they add up. Father,

you know the memory some of us can't stop replaying. The hurt

we keep reliving as if it's happening again.

Teach us to catch the loop when it starts and turn it to you

instead of pressing play. We're not pretending the harm didn't

happen, but we're asking you to heal what we can't heal by

rehearsing it. Keep our minds stayed on you, one interruption

at a time. In Jesus' name, amen. If daily devotions for busy

lives has become a part of your day, make sure you're following

the show so a new devotion is waiting for you every time. You

can follow at dailydevotionsforbusylives.com

or tap the follow button in your podcast app. I'd love to have

you stay along. Thanks for joining me on Daily Devotions

for Busy Lives. Remember, the harm did happen, but you don't

have to keep pressing play. When the loop starts, turn your mind

to God and let Him do the healing. Come back next time for

more encouragement to help you live grounded in God's truth.

Until then, God bless and have a great day.