How to Move Forward When Your Regret Won't Let You Go

Allison was a young single mom when she walked into

an abortion clinic. She was scared and alone, and she was

convinced it was her only way out. She was going to church at

the time, but she hadn't surrendered her life to God yet,

and she didn't fully understand what was happening inside of her.

She saw the pregnancy as a problem to solve, and a fear of

being judged, along with the fear of being left to raise

another child on her own, pushed her toward a decision she would

replay for years. She went through with it, and she kept

going to church, and she heard sermons about the grace of Jesus

and pastors saying things like, there is no sin too great. She

believed it for everyone else, but she couldn't believe it for

herself, so she buried it. She told no one, not even her family,

not the women she saw in the pew every Sunday.

It was a wound she was sure would hurt forever. Years passed,

she got married, she had more children, and on the outside,

everything looked healed. Then the phone call came from her

son's doctor. Her youngest had a diagnosis, special needs, and at

that moment, sitting there with the doctor's words still in her

ear, one thought cut through everything else. This is my

fault. punishing me for what I did. We'll come back to what

happened next, but first...

Welcome to Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. I'm Bart LeJay. If

you've ever been where Allison was, you already know what I'm

talking about. Regret has a long memory. It replays the moment

and reminds you of where you were at your worst, sometimes

years after you thought you'd moved past it. Maybe for you, it

wasn't an abortion. Maybe it's a marriage you walked out of, or a

friend you betrayed, or a child you weren't there for. Maybe

it's a decision you made in anger that cost you more than

you thought it would, or something no one else even knows

about that you've been carrying alone for a long time. Here's

what regret does. It makes you believe that what you did is

more powerful than what Christ did, and it convinces you that

your sin has a longer memory than God's mercy. The most

dangerous part is how spiritual it can feel. Oh, you tell

yourself you're being humble, and that you're taking your sins

seriously, when underneath that is an agreement with a lie, that

the gospel applies to everyone else except you. Now, I want you

to hear what God says about that in Isaiah 43, 25.

Notice what God says and what he doesn't say. He's not saying,

I'll blot out your sins after you've beaten yourself up for a

sufficient amount of time. And he doesn't say, I'll blot out

the small but you're going to have to live with the big ones.

He says he will blot them out completely for his own sake, and

he will never think of them again. The phrase blot out in

that passage carries the picture of wiping a slate clean until

there's nothing left to read. Not that it's covered or it's

softened, He erases it completely, and then God adds

something that should stop us in our tracks. He says he does it

for his own sake, meaning his name and his character are on

the line in forgiving you. He's not forgiving you reluctantly.

He is forgiving you because that's who he is. So here's the

question you've probably been wondering. If God has already

blotted out your sin, why does the regret keep coming back?

Because forgiveness and feelings don't run on the same time frame.

God forgives in an instant, but feelings, those take a little

bit longer to catch up, sometimes even years. Here's a

part most of us miss. You don't have to wait for your feelings

to change before you start moving forward because God isn't

waiting. He's already forgiven you and he's already calling you

forward. The only question is whether you're going to keep

agreeing with the regret or start agreeing with him. Let me

give you two things you can do today, even while the regret's

still eating away at you. First, tell yourself the truth of God's

Word out loud. Don't just think it. I want you to say it. My sin

has been blotted out and God doesn't remember it. He's not

holding it against me today. Regret speaks to you in your own

voice and that's why it sounds so convincing. The truth of

God's Word is greater than any feeling you'll ever have. And

then secondly, take the next step of obedience anyway. Don't

wait for the regret to leave you before you start serving or

stepping forward into something God's been asking you to do. The

enemy wants you to stay paralyzed by the past so you're

useless in the present. And obedience is what breaks that

pattern. You move forward while the regret's still there. And

over time, you'll notice it fades into the background

because you replaced it with the truth of God's Word. Now, let me

finish Allison's story. She carried that guilt for a long

time, convinced her son's diagnosis was God's settling an

old account. But something started to shift one Sunday when

a woman she respected at her own church stood up and shared her

testimony. And that woman's story included an abortion.

Allison couldn't believe it. Here was someone she admired,

someone living in the freedom of Christ, saying out loud the very

thing Allison had spent years hiding. That vulnerability gave

Allison permission to believe for the first time that the

gospel applied to her too. She confessed it to a trusted friend,

bringing the secret into the light, and the wounds she was

sure would hurt forever began to heal. Allison later wrote,

Through my recovery process, I found forgiveness that had been

there waiting for me all along. Waiting for her all along. And

that's what the gospel does. It waits for you to believe what's

already true. Here's today's challenge. Name the regret

you've been carrying. Don't generalize it. Name the specific

moment and the specific name if that's part of it. Then, say it

out loud. God has blotted this out. He doesn't hold it against

me today, and I'm not going to hold it against myself anymore

either. After that, take one step of obedience today that

you've been putting off because you felt too unworthy to take it.

That's how you start moving forward. Lord, you know the

regrets and the moments we keep replaying. Thank you that you've

already blotted them out and that you're not holding them

against us. Help us to agree with you instead of our regret

and give us the courage to take the next step of obedience today

even while the feelings are still catching up. In Jesus'

name, Amen. If you need prayer today, I'd love to hear from you.

You can leave me a voicemail at dailydevotionsforbusylives.com

slash voicemail. I listen to every single one and it would be

an honor to bring your name before the Lord. Thanks for

joining me on Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. Remember, regret

is a long memory, but God's mercy doesn't expire. Come back

next time for more encouragement to help you live grounded in

God's truth. Until then, God bless and have a great day.