What to Do When You're Afraid of Getting Old Alone
Key Takeaways
- The fear of getting old alone is a common struggle that many people carry in silence, often worrying about who will help them or notice if they fall ill.
- In Psalm 71:9, an old man honestly prays about his fear of being discarded in old age, showing that God welcomes our raw, unfiltered concerns.
- God frequently answers the fear of aging alone by sending His people to act as family, providing practical support through the local church.
- Vicki Hendryx established an impactful ministry in her Oklahoma church where widows were adopted by volunteer families, ensuring no one aged alone.
- When dealing with the fear of getting old alone, believers should bring their anxiety directly to God in prayer and actively plant themselves in a church family.
The fear of getting old alone is one people don't talk about much, but it lives in a lot of hearts. Some pictured a spouse walking through the later years with them, and that person never came. Others raised kids who grew up and moved across the country, and now they lie awake wondering who will be there when they can't drive themselves to the doctor, and who would even notice if they got sick. It's a frightening thing to wonder about, and most people wonder in silence.
This episode opens at a small church in Skiatook, Oklahoma, where a growing group of widows knew that fear. Many had been married 50 or 60 years, their spouse was gone, and their kids were far away. One woman, Vicki Hendryx, couldn't stop thinking about them and didn't want a single one to feel forgotten, so she made a plan.
An old man in the Psalms prayed this exact fear straight to God. Psalm 71:9 says, "Do not cast me off in the time of old age; Do not forsake me when my strength fails." It's a raw prayer from a man who could feel his strength going and dreaded being discarded, and he said it right to God's face. God's answer, all through Scripture, is the same: I am with you, I will never leave you or forsake you. When your friends are gone and your strength has failed, He is still there. Old age does not move you one inch outside His reach.
Often, God answers this fear with skin on. He sends His people. The church was built to be a family for exactly the person who has no other family left. When a congregation takes its widows and older singles under its wing, that's more than kindness. It's God keeping His promise through His people, in the parking lot after church and in the hospital waiting room.
That's what Vicki built. She had the church adopt its widows one by one, making a profile for each and matching every widow with at least two volunteer families, so no one slipped through the cracks. More than 30 widows in that church now have people who show up for them every week. Nobody there ages alone. As Bart notes, his own church cares for its widows and older singles the same way, so no one with no family nearby has to face aging by themselves.
BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU'LL DISCOVER:
- Why the fear of aging alone is so common and so rarely spoken
- What Psalm 71:9 shows about bringing that fear straight to God
- Two things to do with the fear, and how the church becomes family to those who have none
God will not cast you off in your old age. Much of the time He answers the fear of aging alone by sending His people to stay close.
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Frequently Asked Questions
What does the Bible say about the fear of getting old alone?
In Psalm 71:9, the writer honestly asks God not to cast him off in his old age or forsake him when his strength fails, reflecting a raw prayer that God welcomes. Throughout Scripture, God's answer to this fear is His promise to never leave or forsake His people.
How does God typically answer the fear of aging alone?
God often answers the fear of growing old alone with skin on by sending His people. He uses the local church to act as a family, providing practical care like rides to the doctor and weekly check-ins.
What should I do if I am afraid of getting old alone?
You should bring your fear directly to God in prayer, telling Him honestly that you are scared of being alone at the end of life. Additionally, get planted in a local church family now while you can and allow people in to support you.
At a small church in Skiatook, Oklahoma, there was a
Bart Leger:growing group of women who all knew the same fear. They were
Bart Leger:widows. Many of them had been married 50 or 60 years, and now
Bart Leger:the person they'd done life with was gone. Their kids were grown
Bart Leger:and often very far away, and the typical questions started to
Bart Leger:press in. Who would drive them to a doctor's appointment? Who
Bart Leger:would notice if they got sick? One woman in that church, Vicki
Bart Leger:Hendricks, couldn't stop thinking about them. She didn't
Bart Leger:want a single one of those widows to feel forgotten, so she
Bart Leger:came up with a plan, and it was more organized than anyone
Bart Leger:expected. We'll come back to what Vicki built, but
Bart Leger:welcome to Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. I'm Bart Leger. This
Bart Leger:is something my own church does. We take care of our widows and
Bart Leger:our older the ones on their own. We keep watch over them and make
Bart Leger:sure nobody, with no family nearby, it may have to face
Bart Leger:aging by themselves. I've seen what it does for a person to
Bart Leger:know that a phone call is a step away, that if they end up in the
Bart Leger:hospital, someone will come. It answers a fear many in their
Bart Leger:situation have, and that fear is pretty common. The fear of
Bart Leger:getting old alone is something many think about as they of you
Bart Leger:pictured a spouse with you, and that person never came. Some of
Bart Leger:you raised kids who grew up and moved across the country to
Bart Leger:build their own lives, and now you lie awake wondering who will
Bart Leger:be there when you can't drive yourself to the doctor? And who
Bart Leger:would even notice if you got It's a frightening thing to
Bart Leger:wonder about, and most people wonder in silence. An old man in
Bart Leger:the Psalms prayed this exact fear right to God. Listen to
Psalm 71 00:01:45
9: He says, "Do not cast me off in the time of old
Psalm 71 00:01:50
age. Do not forsake me when my strength fails." what he's
Psalm 71 00:01:54
asking. "Don't throw me away when I'm old. Don't leave me
Psalm 71 00:01:58
when my body gives out." I mean, it's a raw prayer, a fear of a
Psalm 71 00:02:03
man who could feel his strength going and dreaded being
Psalm 71 00:02:06
discarded. And notice, he doesn't bury the fear or pretend
Psalm 71 00:02:10
that he's above it. He says it right to God's face. And here's
Psalm 71 00:02:14
what God says back to a fear like that. All through Scripture,
Psalm 71 00:02:17
his answer is the same sentence: "I'm with you. I will never
Psalm 71 00:02:21
leave you or forsake you." When your friends are gone and your
Psalm 71 00:02:24
strength has failed, he's still there. Probably closer than he's
Psalm 71 00:02:29
ever been to you. Old age doesn't have to move you one
Psalm 71 00:02:33
inch outside of his reach. And here's the part I don't want you
Psalm 71 00:02:36
to miss. Often, God answers this fear through He sends his people.
Psalm 71 00:02:41
The church was built to be a family for exactly the person
Psalm 71 00:02:44
who has no other family left. When a congregation takes its
Psalm 71 00:02:48
widows and its singles under its wing, that's more than kindness.
Psalm 71 00:02:52
That's God keeping his promise through his people. He said he
Psalm 71 00:02:56
wouldn't forsake you, and then he put you in a body of
Psalm 71 00:02:59
believers who can prove it in the parking lot after church and
Psalm 71 00:03:02
in the hospital waiting room. And that's exactly what Vicki
Psalm 71 00:03:05
built in that little Oklahoma church. Vicki decided the church
Psalm 71 00:03:09
would adopt its widows one by one. She made a profile each one
Psalm 71 00:03:14
listing details like whether she could still drive and who her
Psalm 71 00:03:17
family was. Then, she matched every widow with volunteer
Psalm 71 00:03:21
families in the church, at least two per widow, so no one slipped
Psalm 71 00:03:25
through the cracks. Those families gave the widows rides
Psalm 71 00:03:28
to the doctor and check in when the weather turns bad. More than
Psalm 71 00:03:32
30 widows in that one church now have people who show up for them,
Psalm 71 00:03:35
on purpose, every week. Nobody there ages alone. Vicki says she
Psalm 71 00:03:40
still can't tell who gets the bigger blessing: the widow or
Psalm 71 00:03:44
the family that adopted her. And that's often how God answers the
Psalm 71 00:03:47
fear of growing old alone. He stays close, And much of the
Psalm 71 00:03:50
time, he sends his people to do there ages alone. More than 30
Psalm 71 00:03:55
widows and not one of them left to face it by herself, because
Psalm 71 00:03:59
one woman decided the church would be their family.
Psalm 71 00:04:05
God stays close, and he often does it through the people who
Psalm 71 00:04:09
show up on purpose.
Psalm 71 00:04:14
God will never leave you, and he means to bring his people around
Psalm 71 00:04:18
you too. Here's today's challenge. If the fear of aging
Psalm 71 00:04:22
alone is what you deal with, do two things. First, pray the
Psalm 71 00:04:27
psalmist's prayer in your own words. Tell God that you're
Psalm 71 00:04:30
scared of being alone at the end, and ask him to stay close. He's
Psalm 71 00:04:34
not offended by the fear. And second, don't wait alone. Get
Psalm 71 00:04:39
yourself planted in a church family now while you can and let
Psalm 71 00:04:42
people in. And if you're on the other side of this, look around
Psalm 71 00:04:46
your congregation this week for the widow or the older single
Psalm 71 00:04:49
who has no one, and become the someone who shows up. Some of us
Psalm 71 00:04:54
are afraid of growing old with no one beside us, and we've kept
Psalm 71 00:04:58
that fear to ourselves for a long time. Thank you that the
Psalm 71 00:05:01
psalmist's prayer is answered in you. You will not cast us off
Psalm 71 00:05:04
when we're old, and you will not leave us when our strength fails.
Psalm 71 00:05:08
Stay close as our bodies weaken, and send your people to us so
Psalm 71 00:05:12
that none of your children has to age alone. Make your church
Psalm 71 00:05:16
that of family. In Jesus' name, Amen. If Daily Devotions for
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Psalm 71 00:05:24
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joining me on Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. Remember, God
Psalm 71 00:05:43
will not cast you off in your old age, and much of the time,
Psalm 71 00:05:46
he answers the fear of aging alone by sending his people to
Psalm 71 00:05:50
stay close. Come back next time for more encouragement to help
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you live grounded in God's truth. Until then, God bless and have a
Psalm 71 00:05:58
great day.
