When You Realize You've Been the Difficult Person at Church

Lara d'Antermont knew her theology. She had read

the books and learned the arguments. She was sure she had

it right. So when her family started attending church that

did things a little bit differently, she walked in with

her guard up and her nose a little in the air. She scoffed

at the way they read certain passages. She got annoyed at

their worship style. In the back of her mind was a private

verdict about these We are better than them. She figured

she was there to put up with them until something better came

along. The truth was, Lara was the difficult one in that

building and she had no idea yet. We'll come back to what opened

her eyes. But

first, welcome to Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. I'm

Bart Leger. I've pastored a good many years and have known some

difficult people. There's a small book from years back by

Marshall Shelley that calls them well-intentioned dragons. I

think that name fits pretty well. They might have good intentions

or thought they did, but they were difficult nonetheless. Most

of the dragons I've known never worked out that they were

dragons. A few did, and it was refreshing every single time.

This episode is for the person who has finally noticed. Maybe

you started seeing a pattern in how conversations at church go

when you're part of them. Things seem to be going well until you

get involved. Business meetings are running smoothly until you

speak the difficult person at your church might be you. That's

uncomfortable to see, and it's one of the better things that

can happen to a person because we can't change what we can't

see. The apostle Paul gave the Romans an instruction for

exactly this moment. He'd spent a whole chapter on believers who

were divided over food and holy days and over how they were

treating each other about it. Then he closes the chapter here

in Romans 14, verse 19. So then, let us aim for harmony in the

church and try to build each other up. Look at the two verbs,

aim for, try to build. of those, take effort, and both of them

point outward at other people. Older translations put it as

pursue, and you pursue something by going after it on purpose. So

if God is showing you that you've been the source of the

friction, stopping is half of it. The other half is the pursuit.

Pursuit in a church body is an everyday responsibility. You let

a comment go without correcting and you look for a chance to

build up somebody verbally in front of other people, even if

you're not used to doing it. Then, go find the person you've

been short with and tell them you were short with them. Don't

make excuses, just apologize. Now, about the correction itself.

If God used a person to show you this, that person did you a

kindness most people are too polite to do. Thank God for it.

Then, thank them if you can stand to, and I hope you can.

And here's the mercy in the timing. He's showing you now,

while you still have time, to be different in that building with

those same people this coming Sunday. Then, Lara lost a

pregnancy. And the people she had looked down on were the ones

who came. A woman from the church arrived at her door with

a warm meal. Others brought food and stayed close while she

grieved. The believers she had judged for getting the small

things wrong turned out to know how to love better than she did.

Lara still had her convictions, but her pride cracked wide open.

She had walked in as the critic, and God used the church she

didn't respect to show her the difficult person had been her

all along. Look at what changed her. A woman at the door with a

meal. The people she had been grading turned out to be

practicing what she had been reading about in God's Word. She

kept every conviction she walked in with, but what she did was

put down the ranking. Here's today's challenge. Ask one

person who will tell you the truth. Somebody who's been

around you at church for a while. Say something like this. I've

been wondering whether I'm difficult to be around here, and

I want you to tell me straight. Then stop talking and take what

they give you. And do one thing today in the other direction.

Build somebody up where other people can hear you. Send the

text or say it in the hallway on Sunday. That's the pursuit part,

and it starts this week. Father, thank you for the mercy of

showing us what we would rather not see. For everybody listening

who is starting to suspect that they have been the trouble in

their own church, keep them from defending themselves today. And

give them the nerve to ask somebody who will tell them the

truth. Make them the kind of people their church is glad to

see coming through the door. And do that same work in me, because

I need it as much as anybody else listening to this. In

Jesus' name, amen. If Daily Devotions for Busy Lives has

been an encouragement to you, would you take a minute and

leave a rating and review? It helps more people find these

devotions, and it only takes a moment. I'd be so grateful.

Thanks for joining me on Daily Devotions for Busy Lives.

Remember, Paul told us to aim for harmony and to build each

other up. And both of these take effort. If God has shown you

something today, thank Him and then go do the next thing you

need to do. Come back next time for more encouragement to help

you live grounded in God's truth. Until then, God bless and have a

great day.