Learning to Receive When You'd Rather Give

Avery Rogers was the kind of kid who wouldn't drink

from a sippy cup. She thought the lid was patronizing. That

streak grew up with her. She never wanted help carrying her

backpack or getting through her homework. In high school, she

did her own grocery shopping and cooked her own meals. She'd

rather embarrass herself wrestling a heavy box across the

room than ask one person to grab the other end. Self-reliance was

the whole way she moved through the world. Then, she got to

college and wanted friends like everybody else. So she came up

with a plan. She'd be the helper. She'd carry people's luggage and

bring them food from the dining hall, doing favors and never

asking for a thing back. She'd give and give and never let

anyone give to her. She thought that was generosity. She thought

it was working. Then, sophomore year, a close friend stopped and

said something that changed the way she saw the world. We'll

come back to what that friend said. But

first, welcome to Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. I'm

Bart Leger. I need to tell you, I'm a lot like Avery. Left to

myself, I'll do the whole thing alone before I'll ask a single

person for help. My default is handle it myself. Over the years,

I've had to learn to let people help me, and it still doesn't

come naturally. I'd rather be the one lending a hand than the

one who needs one. If that's you then this episode might strike a

nerve. There's a certain kind of person who finds it easier to

help than to be helped. You'll drop everything when a friend is

in trouble. You'll bring a meal and take the late phone call,

but turn it around and you immediately say no. When you're

the one in trouble, you wave people off. I'm fine. I got it.

do for you a fraction of what you'd gladly do for them. Peter

had this exact instinct, and it collided with Jesus at the worst

possible moment for him to argue. It was the last night, and Jesus

got down on the floor to wash his disciples' feet. Listen to

John 13, 6-9. When Jesus came to Simon Peter, Peter said to him,

Lord, are you going to wash my feet? Jesus replied, You don't

understand now what I'm doing, but someday you will. No, Peter

protested, you will never, ever wash my feet. Jesus replied,

Unless I wash you, you won't belong to me. Simon Peter

exclaimed, Then wash my hands and head as well. Lord, not just

my feet. Peter couldn't stand it. The Lord he followed down on the

floor with a towel, washing his dirty feet like a household

servant. It broke everything Peter believed about who serves

whom. You'll never wash my feet, he says. And Jesus didn't pull

any punches. He said, Unless I wash you, you have no share with

me. In other words, if you won't receive from me, you and I have

a problem. Think about that for a minute. Peter's refusal may

have looked like reverence, but it came from a man who wanted to

relate to Jesus on his own terms, as a giver, never as a needy

person on the receiving end. Jesus told him, That road leads

nowhere. What Jesus was offering began with receiving something

you could never earn or repay. If you can't accept grace with

empty hands, you can't have it at all. So here's what we have

to learn.

your reflex to serve is exactly what is blocking it. It might

come through a person, a friend who wants to help, or a church

that wants to bring you meals. When you wave them off, you

might be waving off God, and you may be keeping them from

receiving a blessing. Receiving is its own kind of humility. It

admits you're not the strong one in every room, and for some of

us, that admission is exactly what God is after right now. Now

let me tell you what Avery's friend said. Avery, she said,

You have to let your friends help you, too. It makes them

feel close to you. A friendship that only runs one way isn't

really a friendship at all, no matter which way it's running.

And Avery knew the second she heard it, that it was true. She

pictured being on the other side of it, where the other person

never once let her do anything for them. She'd have hated it.

She'd have felt held at arm's length, and that was exactly

what she'd been doing to everyone who tried to get close

to her. So she started to change. Slowly, because for some, that's

the only way it happens someone built like that. She let people

help. She let projects she'd have powered through alone

become team efforts. And here's the part she didn't see coming.

Learning to receive made her more generous. Once she quit

keeping score, she started seeing the people around her and

everything they could do together that she'd been trying

to do by herself. Learning to receive made her more generous.

The giving got better once she let others give to her. And

that's what happens when you come down off the platform of

always being the helper. You stop keeping score, and you

finally see the people who have been trying to reach you. Here's

today's challenge. This week, let somebody help you with

something. Pick one thing that matters to you. Not just a token,

something you'd normally grind through alone and let a person

in on it. When they offer, don't deflect. Say thank you and mean

it. And if it's God offering through a person or in prayer,

stop trying to earn your place with Him and just receive what

He's holding out. You don't have to do it all alone, and you were

never supposed to. Father, some of us are better at giving than

receiving, and we've kept you and everyone else at arm's

length by always being the strong one, or at least trying

to be. Thank you that faith starts with open hands, taking

what we could never earn. Teach us to receive from you and from

the that you've put around us. Where our serving has become a

wall, take it down. Make us humble enough to say thank you

and mean it. In Jesus' name, Amen. If this episode encouraged

you today, would you share it with someone who might need to

hear it? Just go to DailyDevotionsForBusyLives.com

slash 291 and copy the link. It only takes a second, and it

might make a real difference in someone's day. Thanks for

joining me on Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. Remember,

receiving is its own act of humility, and sometimes letting

someone help you is exactly what God is asking of you. Come back

next time for more encouragement to help you live grounded in

God's truth. Until then, God bless, and have a great day.