The Courage to Say "I Was Wrong"

Track 1 00:00:01

His 10-year-old daughter was working on a school

Track 1 00:00:03

project about bullying when she looked up at her dad and asked,

Track 1 00:00:06

Have you ever bullied anybody? Louis Amundsen could have

Track 1 00:00:11

laughed it off. He could have said, Oh, we were just kids. But

Track 1 00:00:14

he didn't. He sat there. And while he was thinking about it,

Track 1 00:00:19

a memory surfaced. One he hadn't touched in over 20 years. A boy,

Track 1 00:00:25

he and his friends had followed through the hallways of their

Track 1 00:00:28

Alaska junior high, threatening him and humiliating him. Louis

Track 1 00:00:32

answered his daughter honestly. He said, Yes, I'm afraid I did.

Track 1 00:00:37

And then he couldn't let it go. Several weeks later, he tracked

Track 1 00:00:41

down that boy, now a grown man, his name, Chad Michael, and

Track 1 00:00:46

found him on Facebook and typed out a message. No excuses. No

Track 1 00:00:50

explanations. Just, I was wrong. I'm sorry. You deserved better.

Track 1 00:00:56

He hit send and waited. We'll find out what happened. But

Track 1 00:01:01

first,

Track 1 00:01:03

Welcome to Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. I'm Bart Leipzig.

Track 1 00:01:08

And today we're talking about something that sounds simple,

Track 1 00:01:11

but takes enormous courage. And that is admitting you were wrong.

Track 1 00:01:16

That's hard for most of us. I know it's hard for me. Human

Track 1 00:01:20

nature constantly wants to justify itself. When we hurt

Track 1 00:01:24

someone, our instinct is to offer an apology wrapped in an

Track 1 00:01:27

excuse. I'm sorry, but if you hadn't done. But true spiritual

Track 1 00:01:34

maturity is found in owning our mistakes without caveats.

Track 1 00:01:37

Dropping our defenses and offering a sincere confession

Track 1 00:01:41

not only can heal fractured relationships, but also deeply

Track 1 00:01:45

reflects the humility of Christ. James, chapter 5, verse 16 says,

Track 1 00:01:50

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that

Track 1 00:01:53

you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has

Track 1 00:01:58

great power and produces wonderful results. Notice what

Track 1 00:02:01

James connects. Confession and healing. There's a direct link

Track 1 00:02:06

between the courage to say, I was wrong and the restoration of

Track 1 00:02:10

broken things. But most of us resist that link with everything

Track 1 00:02:14

we have. When we hurt someone, the first thing our hearts do is

Track 1 00:02:19

build a defense case. We try to explain and minimize our

Track 1 00:02:23

responsibility. We offer what I call the but apology. I'm sorry

Track 1 00:02:28

I said that, but you provoked me. I'm sorry I wasn't there, but

Track 1 00:02:33

I've been really busy. I'm sorry, but you need to understand my

Track 1 00:02:37

side. The moment you add but to an apology, you've turned a

Track 1 00:02:42

confession into an argument. And the person on the other end

Track 1 00:02:46

doesn't hear the sorry. They hear the excuse. A genuine

Track 1 00:02:51

defenseless apology sounds different. It says, I was wrong.

Track 1 00:02:56

There's no excuse. You deserved better. Will you forgive me? You

Track 1 00:03:01

don't put a spin on it or deflect. No self-protection.

Track 1 00:03:04

Just the raw truth. You don't hear that kind of apology often

Track 1 00:03:08

because it requires vulnerability. Admitting you

Track 1 00:03:12

were wrong means giving up the power to control the narrative.

Track 1 00:03:15

It means standing in front of another person with nothing to

Track 1 00:03:18

hide behind. And that feels terrifying. But it's also

Track 1 00:03:24

Christ-like. Jesus, who had every right to defend himself,

Track 1 00:03:28

stood silent before his accusers. He didn't justify and he didn't

Track 1 00:03:32

try to explain. He simply absorbed the cost.

Track 1 00:03:40

Think about the relationships in your life that have been

Track 1 00:03:46

fractured.

Track 1 00:03:52

James says confession leads to healing.

Track 1 00:03:55

James says confession leads to healing. Maybe you're the one

Track 1 00:03:56

who needs to say it. Maybe there's a conversation you've

Track 1 00:03:59

been avoiding for weeks or months, maybe even years because

Track 1 00:04:03

admitting fault feels too risky. Maybe you've tried to apologize

Track 1 00:04:07

before, but, and there's that word, you padded it with so many

Track 1 00:04:11

explanations that the other person never actually heard you

Track 1 00:04:14

take full responsibility. James says confession leads to healing.

Track 1 00:04:20

Not always instantly and not always neatly. But the process

Track 1 00:04:24

of healing begins when someone has the courage to drop their

Track 1 00:04:28

defenses and tell the truth. So back to Louie. Chad Michael read

Track 1 00:04:32

that message, set his phone down, and wept. The apology didn't

Track 1 00:04:37

erase the pain of being bullied as a boy. He'd spent 20 years

Track 1 00:04:41

carrying those wounds, but Louie was the only person who had ever

Track 1 00:04:45

said he was sorry. He wrote back, In 20 years, you are the only

Track 1 00:04:51

one. I hope you can proudly tell your daughter that we are good.

Track 1 00:04:55

Louie didn't make excuses. Just, I was wrong. And it changed

Track 1 00:05:00

everything. That's what James is talking about. It might be the

Track 1 00:05:03

most courageous thing you do today. And it might be exactly

Track 1 00:05:07

what someone in your life has been waiting 20 years to hear.

Track 1 00:05:11

For 20 years, Chad Michael carried that wound. 20 years of

Track 1 00:05:14

wondering if anyone would ever acknowledge what happened. And

Track 1 00:05:18

healing began with three simple words. I was wrong. Is there

Track 1 00:05:24

someone in your life waiting to hear those words from you?

Track 1 00:05:26

Here's today's challenge. Ask the Holy Spirit to bring one

Track 1 00:05:29

person to mind. Someone you've hurt or wronged. Where you've

Track 1 00:05:33

never offered a genuine defenseless apology. Maybe it's

Track 1 00:05:37

recent. Maybe it's from years ago. This week, reach out and

Track 1 00:05:40

don't build a case. Don't explain your side. Simply say, I

Track 1 00:05:44

was wrong. I'm sorry. You deserved better. And then, leave

Track 1 00:05:48

the outcome to God. Lord, our pride makes it so hard to admit

Track 1 00:05:53

when we're wrong. We hide behind excuses and we shift blame. And

Track 1 00:05:58

we do our best to protect ourselves at the cost of broken

Track 1 00:06:01

relationships. Give us the courage to drop our defenses.

Track 1 00:06:04

Soften our hearts to confess without buts. And where our

Track 1 00:06:08

honest apology can bring healing, give us the bravery to say the

Track 1 00:06:11

hardest, simplest words. I was wrong. In Jesus' name, amen. If

Track 1 00:06:18

this episode encouraged you, would you share it with someone

Track 1 00:06:21

who might need the courage to offer an honest apology? Just

Track 1 00:06:24

send them the link from the show notes. It might be the nudge

Track 1 00:06:27

they need to take that first step. Thanks for joining me on

Track 1 00:06:31

Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. Remember, a genuine defenseless

Track 1 00:06:36

apology might be the most courageous and Christ-like thing

Track 1 00:06:38

you do today. Come back next time for more encouragement to

Track 1 00:06:42

help you live grounded in God's truth. Until then, God bless and

Track 1 00:06:47

have a great day.