When Someone You Love Is Struggling with Addiction

Charles and Janet Morris were the kind of parents who

prayed for their kids, and they needed to be. Their oldest son,

Jeff, never quite fit in, and as he got older, his behavior grew

more Charles and Janet spent years watching him move in a

direction they couldn't turn him from, praying for him constantly,

and doing what they could to keep him connected to the

coming to services on his

dead from a drug overdose. Charles went on the radio next

morning. He was a Christian broadcaster, and it was what he

did, but the grief in his voice was something his listeners had

never heard from him one no parent is ever prepared for.

We'll come back to what that happened in the months that

followed.

to Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. I'm Bart Leger. Over the

years, I've prayed with many people who were carrying a grief

that most of the people around them couldn't see. Some were

praying for a child, others for a spouse or a

and no matter what they tried, they couldn't reach them. If

that's where you are today, I want you to know something

before anything What you're carrying is one of the most

draining things a person can hold on to. The love that

doesn't go away, but it feels often like the ground beneath

your feet is ready to give way at any moment. You've made

promises to yourself about what you'd do if they used again, and

then you've broken those promises. You've swung between

protecting them and pulling back, between anger that surprised you,

and a love that wouldn't quit, and neither one seems to move

things forward. I'm not going to offer you a formula today,

because Scripture doesn't really give us one. What it does give

us is a God who knows this particular grief from the inside.

Here's what He said about it in Hosea 11: 8-9: Oh, how can I

give you up, Israel? How can I let you go? How can I destroy

you like Adma or demolish you like Zeboim? My heart is torn

within me, and my compassion overflows? No, I will not

unleash my fierce anger. I will not completely destroy Israel,

for I am a God and not a mere mortal. I am the Holy One living

among you, and I will not come to destroy." God is speaking to

a people who have repeatedly run from him. His heart is torn, his

compassion overflows, He knows what it costs to keep pursuing

someone who keeps leaving. That's the God who is with you

in this. He knows what it feels like to love someone who won't

come home. He knows what it costs to stay open when every

indication says to close the door, and He hasn't given up on

the person you love any more than he gave up on Israel. Now,

here's where it gets a bit complicated, and I want to say

there's a difference between love that

holds the door open and love that lets the destruction keep

going unchecked. Funding the addiction or pretending it isn't

happening doesn't protect your loved one. It's a way of letting

the addiction go on longer. That line is different for every

family, and most families need outside help to find it. A

pastor or a counselor, someone who's walked this before, can

help you see it. You were never meant to navigate this alone.

What God models in Hosea is this: He keeps the door open, and He

keeps loving, and He doesn't stop being who He is. His

compassion overflows, and He remains who He is. He offers you

something to hold on to that doesn't depend on your loved

one's decision. It's an anchor that holds regardless of what

they choose. Now, let's come back to Charles and Janet. After

Jeff died, Charles and Janet didn't have long before they

were watching their younger son, Peter walked toward the same

place. Peter had told his parents he believed in Jesus

when he was four years old, and he grew up surrounded by faith,

with Christian friends and a family that kept God at the

center of their home. Then, one Sunday, not long after Jeff's

death, Charles watched Peter pass on taking communion. And

that same week, Peter looked at his parents and said he didn't

want to be a Christian anymore. Charles said later he would

never forget the lump in his Peter's story didn't end in

tragedy, but standing at that second door, not knowing how it

would resolve, was the thing that forged something in Charles

and Janet that no amount of comfortable faith ever could.

God's grace is for the ones caught in addiction, and is for

the ones who keep standing at the door. Charles and Janet

stood at two of those doors. They prayed through what no

parent should have to pray through. And they came out the

other side with a faith that had been tested by the very thing

they feared most. What God forged in them at those doors

was an easy tool, but it was theirs. And he's doing the same

work in you right now, whether you can feel it or not. Here's

today's challenge: If you're carrying this, do one thing this

week. Tell someone. It might be a pastor or a counselor. Someone

who won't minimize it or offer you a quick answer. You don't

have have to have it all figured out. You just have to stop

carrying it And if you're not sure where to turn, there are

groups out there that exist specifically for the people who

love someone in addiction. There are groups like Al-Anon. There

are groups like Celebrate Recovery that can help someone

who is in addiction. They understand this in ways most

people around you can't. Lord, you know the ones listening

today who dealing with this. You know their names and the name of

the person they love. You know how long they've been praying

and how tired they are. Meet them where you met Charles and

Janet in those long years of waiting and in the grief that

didn't resolve the way they hoped. Lord God, I pray that you

would sustain them and give them what they need to keep standing

at that door and let them trust that you've not stopped pursuing

the one they love. In Jesus' name, amen. If Daily Devotions

for Busy Lives has been an encouragement to you, would you

consider supporting it with a one-time gift or by becoming a

monthly supporter? Every contribution helps keeps these

devotions coming every week. You can give at

dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/support . I'll have the link in the show

notes. Thank you so much. And thanks for joining me on Daily

Devotions for Busy Lives. Remember, God knows what it

feels like to love someone who won't come home. And He hasn't

stopped. Come back next time for more encouragement to help you

live grounded in God's truth. Until then, God bless and have a

great day.