How to Keep Praying When You're Angry at God
Most of us were taught that anger at God is off-limits. In this episode, discover why the Psalms say otherwise, and how bringing your fury to God is an act of faith rather than a failure of it.
Most of us were taught that anger at God is off-limits. In this episode, discover why the Psalms say otherwise, and how bringing your fury to God is an act of faith rather than a failure of it.
Micca Campbell was 21 years old and a new mother when her husband was burned in a house fire. More than 80 percent of his body. She sat in the hospital waiting room, and when the doctor walked through the door still in his surgical clothes and knelt beside her chair, she knew before he said a word. Her husband had gone into cardiac arrest on the table.
She told God she didn't care if he came home without his arms. She just wanted him home, and she said every word of it out loud.
He died anyway.
After the funeral, after the people went home, Micca sat alone with her newborn and the anger came. One night she cried out everything she hadn't let herself say: Why did you take him? God, I need to know why.
Most of us were taught, at some point, that anger at God is off-limits. So when it comes, we dress it up as confusion or disappointment. We stop praying, because praying feels hypocritical when what we're feeling is fury. This episode is for the person who is there right now.
Lament is a biblical category. The Psalms are full of people who brought their fury straight to God and didn't soften it, and God included those prayers in His Word. Psalm 13 is one of them. David tells God He's forgotten him, that he's going to die if God doesn't show up. There's no careful theological framing. There's just a man in pain saying what he feels to the only One who can do anything about it. God heard it, preserved it, and put it in the Bible so every generation of people in pain would know: this is what prayer looks like when it costs you something to say it.
My wife Katharine has suffered with an autoimmune disease for years. There have been stretches when the pain was so bad I've stood at her bedside wondering why God wouldn't take it from her. I've prayed those prayers more times than I can count, and the pain didn't go away. I still trust Him. But I know what it feels like to be angry at God and not know where to put it.
Lament keeps the door open. The person who is furious with God and still praying is still in the conversation. The person who goes silent has closed the door on the very thing that could help them. David didn't walk away, he screamed into the room. And God was in the room.
Through Micca's story and Psalm 13, this episode makes the case that you can keep praying without pretending you're okay. God can handle what you feel. He'd rather have that than nothing.
BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU'LL DISCOVER:
- Why lament is a biblical category and what the Psalms tell us about God's willingness to receive anger and grief without pulling away
- The difference between being angry at God and walking away from God, and why that distinction matters
- One specific step you can take today to say the thing you've been afraid to say
Micca never got her husband back. But she said the closest she ever came to God was on the night she stopped pretending she was okay and told him the truth.
God can handle everything you've been holding back.
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Micah Campbell was 21 years old and a new mother when
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her husband was burned in a house more than 80% of his body.
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She sat in the hospital waiting room for him to come out of
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surgery, and when the doctor walked through the door, still
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in his surgical clothes, and knelt down beside her chair, she
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knew before he said a word. Her husband had gone into cardiac
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arrest on the and they were running out of time to bring him
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back. She told God she didn't care if her husband came home
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without his arms, that she just wanted him home, and she said
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every word of it out loud. He died anyway. After the funeral,
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and after the people went home, Micah sat alone with her newborn,
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and the anger came. One night, when it was more than she could
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carry, she cried out everything she hadn't let herself say yet.
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"Why did you take him? God, I need to know why!" We'll come
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back to what happened next. But first,
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welcome to Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. I'm Bart Leger. My
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wife, Catherine, has suffered from an autoimmune disease for
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years, and there have been stretches when the pain was so
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bad that I've stood beside her bedside wondering why God
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wouldn't take it from her. Or at least soften the pain. I've
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prayed those prayers more times than I can count, and the pain
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didn't go away. But I still trust Him. I God's working all
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things for good, even when it doesn't feel like it. to be
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angry at God, and not know where to put it. If you're there right
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now, then this episode is for you. Most of us were taught
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directly or indirectly that anger at God is off-limits, so
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when it comes, we call it confusion or disappointment or
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maybe frustration. We stop praying altogether because
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praying feels hypocritical when what we're feeling is anger.
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Before anything else, I want you to know this: lament is a
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biblical category. The Psalms are full of it. People brought
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their anger straight to God, and didn't soften it, and God
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included those prayers in His Word. That tells us something
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about what He can handle. Here's Psalm 13: 1-3:
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Anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day. How long
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will my enemy have the upper hand? Turn and answer me, O Lord
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my God. Restore the sparkle to my or I will die. That was David
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speaking, one of the most beloved figures in all of
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Scripture. And he's telling God He's forgotten him, and that
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he's going to die if God doesn't show up soon. He's not pulling
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any punches, and there's no careful theological framing
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about that prayer. There's just a man in pain saying what he
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feels to the only one who can do anything about it. God heard
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that prayer, and He preserved it and put it in the Bible, so that
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every generation of people in pain would know: This is what
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prayer looks like when you're at your wit's end and blame God.
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There's a difference between anger at God and walking away
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from God. And it's an important difference. The person who's
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furious with God and still praying is still in a
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relationship. The door's still open. The conversation is still
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happening, even if the relationship's a little strained
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on our end. The person who stops praying and who goes through the
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motions, or just goes silent, has closed the door on the very
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thing that could help them. Lament keeps the door open.
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David didn't walk away. He screamed into the room, and God
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was in the room. I've sat with people over the years who were
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carrying anger at God they'd never said out loud. it under
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polite Sunday answers, and it had been festering there for
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years. It was affecting their marriage and their parenting,
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and also their willingness to trust anyone. When they finally
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said it out loud to God and to me, something began to give way.
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The wound didn't close overnight, but it started. You can keep
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praying without pretending you're okay. You can say the
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thing you've been afraid to say, and you can tell God you're
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furious and that you need him to explain himself. He can handle
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it. He'd rather have that than the sanitized version you've
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been offering because you thought that was what faith was
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supposed to look like. Now, let's get back to Micah. Micah
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said later that God didn't answer her question or explain
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what happened in that operating room. What happened instead was
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something she could only describe this way. Just as a
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mother runs to her screaming child, God ran to her. She
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didn't see him with her eyes or touch him with her hands, but
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she knew he was there, and that knowing changed something inside
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of her. She never got her husband back. But she said the
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closest she ever came to God was in that room, in that anger, in
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that fury, on that night when she stopped pretending she was
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okay and told him the truth. That's the thing about lament.
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It keeps that conversation with God going. And God, it turns out,
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can handle everything you've been holding back. Micah's story
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is what Psalm 13 looks like in a hospital waiting room. She
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didn't get an explanation, but she experienced God's presence.
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And that presence was enough to carry her forward one step at a
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time. Here's today's challenge. Say the thing you've been
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holding back and say it to God first. Find a place where you
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can be alone and tell him exactly what you feel. Use
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whatever words come. You don't have to clean them up. You don't
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have to end with a doxology. Just start talking and don't
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stop until you've said the thing. That's lament and that's prayer,
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and that's exactly what God is waiting for. Lord, you know the
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ones listening today who are carrying something they've been
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afraid to say to you. Meet them where David was, where Micah was,
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in the place where the anger is closest to the surface. Give
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them the courage to say whatever it is they need to say to you.
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And let them trust that you are already there, already running
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toward them, and already holding what they can barely carry. In
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Jesus' name, amen. If Daily Devotions for Busy Lives has
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encouraged I'd love to hear from you. You can leave me a
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voicemail at DailyDevotionsForBusyLives.com
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slash voicemail. I listen to every prayer request, and it
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would be an honor to pray for you by name. Thank you for
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joining me on Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. Remember, lament
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keeps the door open, and God can handle everything you've been
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holding back. Come back next time for more encouragement to
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help you live grounded in God's truth. Until then, God bless,
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and have a great day.
