When Your Kids Still Want You Around
Key Takeaways
- A close relationship with an adult child does not come standard and should be recognized as a rare, precious gift rather than routine background noise.
- Drawing on the inspiration of Brad Ryan and his grandmother Joy, who visited all 63 national parks together starting in her 80s, intentional connection can breathe new life into family relationships.
- The apostle John described the joy of seeing loved ones walk in truth as his greatest joy, paralleling the deep fulfillment found when grown children choose to keep their parents close.
- Familiarity often causes us to take our blessings for granted, making it essential to intentionally pause, feel gratitude, and thank God for the presence of our loved ones.
- Parents should make it a habit to tell their adult children in plain words what their nearness means, speaking love aloud without waiting for a milestone or special occasion.
A close relationship with an adult child doesn't come standard, and it's easy to stop noticing it. Discover why John called this the greatest joy, and how to receive it with gratitude.
This episode is for the parents whose grown kids call. Whose kids text just to check in, or make room for you at the table when they didn't have to. That kind of relationship does not come standard. A grown child who wants you around is choosing you, over and over, with a life full of other options, and some part of you already knows how rare it is. Bart knows the feeling. His kids are grown and close, and he doesn't take it for granted, because he has counseled too many parents who would give anything for a Sunday dinner with a child who no longer calls.
This episode opens with Brad Ryan, whose grandmother, Joy, was almost a stranger to him. Joy had spent her whole life in small-town Ohio and, into her 80s, had never seen a mountain or the ocean. Then Brad, now grown, called the grandmother he barely knew and asked if she wanted to go camping. She said yes.
The apostle John knew this kind of joy. 3 John 4 says, "I could have no greater joy than to hear that my children are following the truth." He mostly meant his spiritual children, and what filled him with joy was simple: they were walking with God. A close relationship with your grown child sits in that same kind of joy, and it's easy to let it fade into the background. When something good becomes familiar, we stop seeing it. The visits become normal, and a gift that would have stunned you 20 years ago becomes something you barely notice. John refused to let that joy fade. He named it.
So do something with the closeness you've been given. Feel it and thank God for it, instead of rushing past a gift He knit together. Then tell your kids, in plain words, what their nearness means to you. They may shrug it off. Say it anyway. People rarely regret telling someone they love that they matter.
That is where Brad and Joy's story went. The one camping trip became another, and over several years the grandson and his grandmother visited all 63 national parks, finishing when Joy was 93. Two people who had barely known each other became close, Joy saw mountains and the ocean for the first time, and she has said these years are the best of her life. Nobody made Brad pick up the phone. He just wanted her around, and it gave an 85-year-old woman a whole new life.
BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU'LL DISCOVER:
- Why a close relationship with a grown child is rarer and more precious than we treat it
- What 3 John 4 shows about the joy of the people we love walking with God
- What to do with that closeness before it fades into background noise, and why naming it aloud matters
A grown child who wants you around is one of life's rare joys. Thank God for it, and tell them what it means.
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Frequently Asked Questions
Who is Brad Ryan and what did he do with his grandmother?
Brad Ryan is a grandson who reconnected with his grandmother, Joy, in her 80s by inviting her on a camping trip, which eventually led to the two of them visiting all 63 U.S. national parks together.
What does 3 John 4 say about joy and relationships?
3 John 4 states, 'I could have no greater joy than to hear that my children are following the truth,' reflecting the profound happiness found when loved ones walk closely with God and loved ones.
How can parents strengthen their relationship with grown children?
Parents can strengthen these bonds by refusing to take visits or calls for granted, thanking God for the relationship, and directly telling their adult children how much their presence means to them.
What is the main challenge given to listeners in this episode?
Listeners with adult children who keep them in their lives are challenged to reach out today, express appreciation simply, and thank God for the unearned gift of that relationship.
For most of Brad Ryan's life, his grandmother was
Bart Leger:almost a stranger. His family had drifted apart over the years,
Bart Leger:and Grandma Joy was someone he saw on a holiday, if that. Joy
Bart Leger:had spent her whole life in small-town Ohio. She had raised
Bart Leger:her kids and kept close to home. By her 80s, she had never seen a
Bart Leger:mountain, and she had never even seen the ocean. Most of her days
Bart Leger:looked a lot like the day before. Then one day, Brad, now grown,
Bart Leger:did something that surprised them both. He called up the
Bart Leger:grandmother he barely knew and asked if she wanted to go
Bart Leger:camping. She said yes. We'll come back to what that one yes
Bart Leger:led to. But
Bart Leger:welcome to Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. I'm Bart Leger. Our
Bart Leger:kids are grown, and they're still close to us. We see them
Bart Leger:regularly, and they still want us in their lives. And I don't
Bart Leger:take that for granted. I've counseled too many parents whose
Bart Leger:kids don't call, and who'd give anything for a Sunday dinner
Bart Leger:with a grown child, to ever treat mine as ordinary. Every
Bart Leger:time one of them picks up the phone or pulls into the driveway,
Bart Leger:I know it's a gift I didn't really earn and can't assume.
Bart Leger:This episode is for the parents whose grown kids call, whose
Bart Leger:kids text to check in or to make room for you at the table when
Bart Leger:they don't have to. If that's you, hear me. That kind of
Bart Leger:relationship doesn't come standard. A grown child who
Bart Leger:wants you around is choosing you over and over with a life full
Bart Leger:of other options. If you have it, some part of you, I believe,
Bart Leger:already knows how rare that might be. The apostle John knew
Bart Leger:this kind of joy, and he put it in a single sentence. Listen 3
Bart Leger:John 4.
Bart Leger:That's a strong claim for a man who'd seen a lot of life. When
Bart Leger:John says, My children, he mostly means the people he led
Bart Leger:to Christ and discipled, his spiritual sons and daughters.
Bart Leger:And what fills him with joy is simple. They're walking with God.
Bart Leger:He calls that the highest joy he knows. And here's what I want
Bart Leger:you to catch. A close relationship with your grown
Bart Leger:child is that same kind of joy, and it's easy to let it fade
Bart Leger:into the background. When something good becomes familiar,
Bart Leger:we sometimes stop seeing it. The calls become routine, and the
Bart Leger:visits become normal. A gift that would have stunned you 20
Bart Leger:years ago becomes something you barely notice. John refused to
Bart Leger:let that joy fade. He called it for what it was. Here's what to
Bart Leger:do with the closeness you've been given. First, feel it and
Bart Leger:thank God for it. Instead of rushing past a gift he has put
Bart Leger:together for you, and then do the thing we so often skip. Tell
Bart Leger:your kids in plain words what their nearness means to you. Oh,
Bart Leger:they may shrug it off, but say it anyway. People rarely regret
Bart Leger:telling someone they love that they matter. Now, let me tell
Bart Leger:you where Brad and Joy's story went. That camping trip turned
Bart Leger:into another trip, and then another. Brad and Joy started
Bart Leger:visiting national parks together, and they didn't stop. Over the
Bart Leger:next several years, the grandson and his grandmother made it to
Bart Leger:all 63 national parks in the country, finishing when Joy was
Bart Leger:93 years old. Along the way, two people had barely known each
Bart Leger:other became close. Joy, who had spent decades near home, saw
Bart Leger:mountains and the ocean for the first time. And she has said
Bart Leger:that these years with her grandson are the best of her
Bart Leger:life. Nobody made Brad pick up the phone. He just wandered her
Bart Leger:around, and it gave an 85-year-old woman a whole new
Bart Leger:life. up the phone. And that's, I believe, something we need to
Bart Leger:consider. He just wandered her around, and one phone call
Bart Leger:handed an 85-year-old woman a mountain she'd never seen and
Bart Leger:the best years of her life. That's the power of somebody
Bart Leger:choosing to stay close. If a grown child is doing that for
Bart Leger:you, you're holding one of the rare joys a person gets in this
Bart Leger:life. Don't let it become background noise. Receive it and
Bart Leger:say thank you to God and to them. Here's today's challenge. If you
Bart Leger:have an adult child who keeps you in their life, reach out to
Bart Leger:them today and tell them how much you appreciate it. You can
Bart Leger:keep it simple. Something like, I love that you still want me
Bart Leger:around, and it means more to me than you know. Then, thank God
Bart Leger:for that relationship. It's one of His good gifts, and it was
Bart Leger:never guaranteed. Don't wait for a milestone to say it. Father,
Bart Leger:thank you for the grown children who still want their parents
Bart Leger:close. That bond is your gift, and it was never really owed to
Bart Leger:us. For every listener who has it, teach them to see it again
Bart Leger:and to say aloud what it means. And comfort the ones whose kids
Bart Leger:are distant today. You are near to every parent's heart. In
Bart Leger:Jesus' name, amen. If Daily Devotions for Busy Lives has
Bart Leger:been an encouragement to you, would you take a minute and
Bart Leger:leave a rating and review? It helps more people find these
Bart Leger:devotions, and it only takes a moment, and I'd be so grateful.
Bart Leger:Thanks for joining me on Daily Devotions for Busy Lives.
Bart Leger:Remember, a grown child who wants you around is one of
Bart Leger:life's rare joys. So thank God for it, and tell them what it
Bart Leger:means. Come back next time for more encouragement to help you
Bart Leger:look grounded in God's truth. Until then, God bless, and have
Bart Leger:a great day.