How to Handle Gossip That Comes Your Way

Joshua had a co-worker named Carrie who

barely acknowledged him. Then, one afternoon, she pulled up a

chair and started talking, and he thought her friendship was

starting. He soon caught the pattern, though. Carrie only

came around when she had something bad to say about their

boss. Joshua listened and nodded, telling himself he was being a

good ear. But every visit left him feeling a little dirty, and

he was starting to see his boss through her eyes. The truth was,

the gossip coming his way had begun to change him, and he had

a decision to make before she opened her mouth again. We'll

come back to what he decided, but first,

welcome to Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. I'm Bart Léger.

Okay, so I'm as curious as the next person. Somebody starts

telling me something about somebody else, and I catch

myself wanting to hear the rest of it. It happens often enough

that I know the temptation's there. to remind myself to tell

people I shouldn't be hearing this. A pastor ought to be the

last person in the room who wants that kind of information.

Some weeks, I'm the first. Gossip has a pull that most

Christians underestimate. Somebody comes to you with

information about another person that you have no need to know.

And here's the part that we skip over. There's a small rush that

goes with it. Come on, admit it. Being handed something private

feels a lot like being trusted. So you feel the tug to ask one

follow-up question. Wait, what did she say about that? Or you

say nothing and file it away, and then you pull it back out a

few months later when it turns out to be useful. Either way,

you took delivery. Nobody gossips in an empty room. It

takes two people. Solomon had something to say about that.

Proverbs 20, 19. A gossip goes around telling secrets, so don't

hang around with chatterers. Look at who Solomon's talking to

in that verse. The warning goes to the listener. you what to do

about your own company because the talker already has a habit

and you have a choice whether to stand there for The second half

is where he gives the instruction. Don't hang around

with chatterers. That's about your feet more than your mouth.

He's telling you to be somewhere else. Being on the receiving end

makes you a participant. The information travels only because

somebody takes it in. When you listen, you're the reason it got

anywhere at all. Now, you don't have to be rude about it. Most

people are braced for rudeness, which is part of why the gentle

version works as well as it does. You can say something like, I

don't think I need to know this, or I'd rather not talk about her

when she isn't here. Most people, hopefully, will take the hint

the first time. And say it early during the conversation. The

longer you listen, the more damage it can do. And here's

what you get out of it. The person being talked about is

spared a wound they will never know about. They won't thank you,

and they'll never find out. Do it anyway. Most of the kindest

things anybody has ever done for you happen in rooms you were

never in. You also keep your own view of that person clean.

Joshua noticed he was starting to see his boss through Carrie's

eyes. And that's the damage the listener takes. The next time

Carrie rolled her chair over, Joshua said it with kindness. He

told her very plainly that if she wasn't careful, running

people down would become the only way she knew how to connect

with anyone at work. She kept her distance after that. Their

whole bond had been built on a shared target, and once he

stopped feeding it, there was nothing left. Joshua came to

want his mind fixed on whatever is true and honorable, the way

Philippians 4.8 puts it. Look at what happened to that friendship.

Their whole connection centered around a shared target, and when

he quit feeding it, there was nothing left. That tells you

what it had been the whole time. And look at where he turned.

Philippians 4.8 Whatever is true and honorable. He changed what

he gave his mind to, and the appetite followed. Here's

today's challenge. Decide your sentence today before you need

it, and practice it out loud if you have to, so it's ready when

the moment comes. I don't think I need to know this. That one

works because it keeps the focus on you. Then think back over the

last conversation you had about somebody who wasn't in the room,

and ask God whether you were a participant in it. If a

particular person came to mind while you were listening to this,

then that's probably the conversation. Father, we like

knowing things. You've made us curious, and we have turned that

curiosity toward places you never meant it to go. Forgive us

for the conversations we've enjoyed at somebody else's

expense, and for the times we stayed in the room when we

should have walked out of it. Give us the words to stop it

kindly the next time it starts, and the nerve to use them early.

Guard the people who are being talked about today in rooms

they'll never hear about. In Jesus' name, amen. If you need

prayer today, I'd love to hear from you. You can leave me a

voicemail at dailydevotionsforbusylives.com

slash voicemail. I listen to everyone, and it'd be an honor

to bring your name before the Lord. Thanks for joining me on

Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. Remember, gossip takes two

people, and you get to decide whether you're the second one.

Have your sentence ready. Come back next time for more

encouragement to help you live grounded in God's truth. Until

then, God bless, and have a great day.