When You’ve Started Resenting a Serving Role
Key Takeaways
- When a ministry role begins to feel like something you resent, that resentment can eventually cool your love and prayer life toward Christ Himself.
- Jesus openly told the first eager disciples that serving would cost them, meaning that the mere feeling of resistance settles nothing by itself about whether you should quit.
- In Acts 6, the apostles released a serving role regarding the food program for widows so they could focus on the Word, proving that releasing a role can be done without letting the work drop.
- A true release from God arrives with your hands open and somebody else's hands ready to step in, distinguishing it from simply walking off and leaving a hole.
- To discern whether to keep serving or step down, write down your original yes, take the question to God for more than one day, and always talk to your leaders before your friends.
Every time you have to show up, something in you resists. Learn what Jesus told two eager disciples six verses earlier, and what Acts 6 says about letting a role go.
You said yes to something a few years ago. A ministry role, or a volunteer slot. You were willing then, and you meant it. Lately every time you have to show up, something in you resists, and you can feel it building. When serving starts to feel like something you resent, that resentment rarely stays put. It gets into your prayer life, and you can start to cool off toward Christ Himself over a role you'd outgrown and kept doing anyway.
This episode opens with Caryn, who held the role of director of care and worship planning at the church she'd been part of since she was a kid. She loved it. So when she started sensing God wanted her to step out of it, she ignored it for over a year.
Matthew 20:28 says, "For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many." Start with what's happening in the room. James and John's mother has just asked Jesus to put her two boys in the places of honor, and the other ten are indignant. Jesus tells them that the rulers of this world throw their weight around, and among them it will look different. Then comes verse 28, where He uses the word ransom, the price you paid to buy a slave out of somebody's hands.
Now go back six verses. When those two said they wanted the thrones, Jesus asked whether they could drink His cup, and told them, you don't know what you are asking. He said that to people who were eager. So serving was always going to cost you, and Jesus announced it to the first volunteers. Which means the resistance you're feeling settles nothing by itself. A yes can be costly and still be yours.
Scripture has a case of it going the other way. In Acts 6 the apostles said they should be spending their time teaching the word of God and not running a food program, so they told the church to pick out seven men full of the Spirit and wisdom and handed the whole thing over. The widows kept getting fed. The apostles released a serving role and the work never dropped.
That's the test, and it's cleaner than a feeling. A release that comes from God arrives with your hands open and somebody else's hands ready. Walking off leaves a hole where people used to get served.
Bart shares his own version of it from the other side, and the one thing he prayed every time somebody told him they needed to step out.
BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU'LL DISCOVER:
- What Jesus told the two eager disciples six verses before the one you know
- The detail in Acts 6 that separates obedience from walking off
- The question to take to God this week, and why both answers are from Him
Here's the practical step. Write down the role and the date you said yes to it, and one line about what you were hoping for when you took it. Take it to God this week and ask Him straight whether this is still yours or whether He's taking it back, and give Him more than one day to answer. Whichever way it goes, take it to your leaders before you take it to your friends.
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Frequently Asked Questions
What should I do if I am resenting a serving role at church?
When you find yourself resenting a serving role, take the matter to God in prayer over several days to ask if He is taking the assignment back or if it is still your yes. Once you discern His direction, speak with your church leaders before discussing it with friends.
How do I know if God is releasing me from ministry?
A godly release typically comes with your hands open and another person's hands ready to step in, ensuring the work continues without leaving a damaging void.
What does the Bible say about stepping down from a volunteer position?
In Acts 6, the apostles stepped away from running the daily food program to focus on teaching the Word, handing the role over to Spirit-filled men so the work continued seamlessly.
Track 1 00:00:01
Karen had a role in her church that most people would be
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glad to have, director of care and worship planning at the
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church she'd been a part of since she was a kid. She loved
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it. So when she started sensing that God wanted her to step out
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of it, she ignored it. For over a year, she kept serving and
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kept pushing the feeling down. Leaving made no sense, and the
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pull wasn't going away. God was asking her to let go of
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something she didn't want to let go of. We'll come back to what
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Karen did, but first,
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welcome to Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. I'm Bart Lachey.
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People have come to me and told me they needed to step out of
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something they'd been doing for us. I let them go, and I didn't
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try to make them feel guilty, or at least I tried not to. I don't
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want to pile on any guilt, and here's what I did do every time.
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I prayed that they'd stay close to God. That's where my concern
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goes with a worn-out yes, those that get tired of what they're
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doing or want to quit. The schedule fills back in, and the
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person is the part that I pray about. Here's why. When serving
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starts to feel like something you resent, the resentment
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rarely stays put in the place you found it. It gets into your
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prayer life. It rides along with you into the service on Sunday.
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It's because you're going to go on to the service on Sunday. You
Track 1 00:01:18
start to cool off toward Christ Himself eventually over a role,
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maybe you outgrew, and you kept doing it anyway. You said yes to
Track 1 00:01:28
something a few years ago. A ministry role or a volunteer
Track 1 00:01:31
slot. You were willing then, and you meant it.
Track 1 00:01:40
Jesus said something about why He came. Matthew 28: "For even
Track 1 00:01:45
the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve others and
Track 1 00:01:48
to give His life as a ransom for many." James and John's mother
Track 1 00:01:53
has just asked Jesus to put her two boys in the places of honor.
Track 1 00:01:57
The other ten hear about it, and they're indignant.
Track 1 00:02:02
what the rulers of this world throw their weight around, and
Track 1 00:02:06
among them it's going to look different. Whoever wants to be a
Track 1 00:02:10
leader has to be a servant. Then verse 28: "He makes himself the
Track 1 00:02:14
example and gives them the word ransom, which was the price you
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paid to buy a slave out of somebody's hands." You put a
Track 1 00:02:21
price tag on His own serving. Now go back six verses. When
Track 1 00:02:25
those two said they wanted the thrones, Jesus asked them
Track 1 00:02:28
whether they could drink His cup. And He told them, "You don't
Track 1 00:02:31
know what you're asking." He said that to people who were
Track 1 00:02:35
eager. They had no idea what they were signing up for, and
Track 1 00:02:37
Jesus told them so. So the serving was always going to cost
Track 1 00:02:41
you. That's in the design of it, and Jesus announced it to the
Track 1 00:02:44
first volunteers, which means the resistance you're feeling
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right now settles nothing by itself. A yes can be costly and
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still be something you're called to. clears out the feeling and
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leaves you with a better question, which is whether this
Track 1 00:02:59
is still the assignment, or whether God is asking to take it
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back. Scripture has a case of it going the second way. The church
Track 1 00:03:07
had grown, and the widows getting food were being
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overlooked. So the apostles called everybody together and
Track 1 00:03:14
said they should be spending their time teaching the word of
Track 1 00:03:16
God and not running a food program. Look at what they did
Track 1 00:03:19
next. "They told the church to pick out seven men full of the
Track 1 00:03:22
Spirit and wisdom. Then they handed the whole thing over. The
Track 1 00:03:26
widows kept getting fed. The apostles released a serving role,
Track 1 00:03:30
and the work never stopped." That's your test, and it's
Track 1 00:03:34
better than a feeling. A release that comes from God arrives with
Track 1 00:03:37
your hands open and somebody else's hands ready. Walking off
Track 1 00:03:41
leaves a hole where people used to get served, and somebody else,
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hopefully, is able to step in. So, go ask Him which one this is.
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Ask whether this is still your yes, or whether He's releasing
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you from it. Both of those answers come from Him, and
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either one is obedience. But just remember this: you still
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need to be serving somewhere. God never lets us off the hook
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just to go home and do nothing. Eventually, Karen stopped
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arguing and told her leader she was stepping down. She braced
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for guilt. Instead, one of her elders gave her a phrase for
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what she had been feeling. He called it a "spirit of release."
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That changed how she saw it.
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as God moving her on, freeing her hands for what she had next.
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She left a role she loved, and she left it as an act of
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obedience. hands and let God take it back. Notice how long
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she went without saying it: over a year of pushing the feeling
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down while she kept serving. And when she finally said it out
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loud, the guilt that she'd been braced for never showed up. An
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elder handled her a better word for it instead. She said,
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"Here's today's challenge: write down the role and the date you
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said yes to it. Then write one line about what you were hoping
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for when you took it. Then take it to God this week and ask Him:
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'Is this still mine? Or are you taking it back?' And then give
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Him more than one day to answer. Let Him lead you and guide you.
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And whichever way it goes, take it to your leaders before you
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take it to your friends. If He's releasing you to go, go tell the
Track 1 00:05:12
person who can hand it to somebody else. Father, your son
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told eager men that they had no idea what they were asking. And
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then he went and paid the price himself. Thank you that you
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never hid what serving would cost. For everybody listening
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who has been grinding through a "yes" they gave years ago, show
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them whether it's still theirs. Keep their love for you from
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cooling over a job that was only ever meant to last a while. In
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Jesus' name. Amen. If Daily Devotions for Busy Lives has
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leave a rating and review? You can do that on Apple Podcasts or
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dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/reviews/new . The link's in the show notes.
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It helps more people find these devotions and it only takes a
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moment. I'd be so grateful. Thanks for joining me on Daily
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Devotions for Busy Lives. Remember, the apostles released
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a serving role and made sure the widows kept eating. Ask God
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which answer this is and then go tell your leaders. Come back
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next time for more encouragement to help you live grounded in
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God's truth. Until then, God bless and have a great day.
