Why Your Reaction to Criticism Reveals More Than You Think

Benjamin Franklin loved to win an argument. He was young

and sharp, and he knew it. In a roomful of he would take

anyone's apart. He had a way of talking that left no room for

doubt. That was certainly true. That was undoubtedly false. He

was very rigid in his opinions. He thought this made him

impressive. People were starting to think something else. One day,

a Quaker friend asked to speak with him. This was a man

Franklin respected, somebody who had nothing to gain by

flattering him, and certainly nothing to gain by wounding him

either. The friend had been watching Franklin for a while,

and he had decided, out of kindness, to tell him the one

thing nobody else would say. They were afraid to confront The

truth was, everyone found Franklin proud and overbearing,

and Franklin was the last person in Philadelphia to know it.

We'll come back to what the friend said. But

first, welcome to Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. I'm

Bart Leger.

to handle something differently, something in me flares up.

before they've even finished the sentence. I've learned that

about myself, and it keeps me from reacting badly, at least

most of the time. Most of the time now, I take a few breaths

before I answer, and then I ask them to tell me more. That

second part took me a bit longer to learn. Asking somebody to say

more about what they think is wrong is about the last thing

anybody wants to do. So watch what happens in you the next

time someone tells you that you got something wrong. And pay

attention to what you feel, because how you feel in that

moment is important. It's a pretty good gauge to help

determine what you need to work on. Most of us never take the

time to notice because we're too busy answering. Our defenses

take over, and we spend all our time trying to prove how right

we are, or how badly they got it wrong. Solomon was clear on this.

Proverbs 13.10. He wrote,

says, It's our pride that leads to conflict. And we all have it

to some degree. That's useful for us to know about ourselves.

We can't always see pride but we can see what it produces. The

word Solomon chose for pride comes from a root that means to

boil. The same root shows up in Genesis where Jacob is cooking a

pot of stew. So the word Solomon picked for pride is a cooking

word. Something heating up and going over the sides of the pot.

Which is what you felt the last time somebody corrected you,

possibly. The feeling in your chest was like a pot coming to a

boil. So the next time it happens, notice what happens

inside you. When the temptation to justify yourself or correct

the other person boils over, stop and take a breath. It may

well save you from an argument. Then, look at the second half of

that verse. Those who take advice are wise. can learn from

others. And we don't always get everything right. Wisdom comes

as we learn from others. Receive correction with grace. The

friend didn't pull any punches. He told Franklin that people

thought him proud and overbearing. Then he gave him

real examples. He gave Franklin example after example until

Franklin couldn't argue his way out of it. Unlike previously, he

didn't defend himself. He took the correction and wrote it down

as a problem to fix. He added humility to the list of virtues

he was working on. The big change was in how he spoke. He

made a rule to stop flatly contradicting people.

Years later, he admitted he never fully beat his pride. No

passion, he said, is so stubborn. He figured that if he ever did

conquer it, he would probably end up proud of his humility.

could have started a fight. Franklin let them start a change

instead. Notice what Franklin changed. He changed how he

stated his opinions. He did admit, though, that he still

struggled with pride. Here's today's challenge. The next time

somebody tells you that you got something wrong, take a moment

before you answer. Then do what I do because it works. Take a

few breaths and ask them to tell you more. And don't be afraid to

admit your pride to God. Ask him for the power and the grace to

receive correction from others. Father, Solomon said pride leads

to conflict. And then he picked a word that means boiling over.

You know what rises in us before anyone else sees it. Thank you

that you've never needed us to be right in order to keep us

close. For everybody listening who feels the defense start

before the sentence is finished, give them a few seconds and a

better question to ask. Show us what's true in what was said. In

Jesus' name, amen. If Daily Devotions for Busy Lives has

been an encouragement to you, would you take a minute and

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at DailyDevotionsForBusyLives.com

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helps more people find these devotions and it only takes a

moment. I'd be so grateful. Thanks for joining me on Daily

Devotions for Busy Lives. Remember, our pride can lead to

conflict. Be wise and consider what others have to say. Come

back next time for more encouragement to help you live

grounded in God's truth. Until then, God bless and have a great

day.