The One Thing That Will Follow You Until You Deal with It

In the summer of 2014, a 15-year-old girl walked into

Books and Books in Miami, slipped a copy of Agatha

Christie's Third Girl under her arm, and walked out without

paying for it. She immediately regretted it. That's not a

detail anyone told her to add later. She wrote it herself two

years later in the letter she left at the front desk when she

came back. Two years went by. She'd built a life in Mexico,

but the $14 book was still there somewhere in the back of her

mind. In April 2016, she walked back into Books and Books,

dropped an envelope on the front desk for the manager, and left

without a word. The envelope had $16 in it. The $2 were for

interest. We'll come back to what she wrote in that letter.

But

first, welcome to Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. I'm

Bart Léger. Over the years, I've sat with people who were

carrying something from years back that still had a hold on

them. Some of them had been carrying it for a decade or more.

A conversation that went wrong and was never corrected. A

person they'd wronged who never knew it. Or something they'd

done that nobody ever found out about, and the not finding out

was part of what kept it alive. Most of them thought time would

eventually take care of it. But it hadn't. Here's what I've

learned from watching that. A guilty conscience doesn't

disappear on its own. What it does is it waits. Most of us

know that feeling I'm describing. There's something in the back of

your mind that's been there for a while. Something you said or

did or wrong that you never made right or a relationship you've

never gone back to repair. And you've told yourself, oh, it a

long time ago, that the other person has probably forgotten,

that it's too late to do anything about it now. And yet,

there it is. It's still there. Here's what the Apostle Paul

said about this in Acts 24, 16. Because of this, I always try to

maintain a clear conscience before God and all people. Paul

said he made it his goal. He used the word always. A clear

conscience before God and before the people in his life. Both

matter to him. And he described it as something you maintain,

which means it requires ongoing attention. A clear conscience is

something most people don't talk about, but most people know when

they don't have one. There's a weight that comes with

unresolved things. A nagging awareness in the background that

something's unfinished. You can get used to it the way you get

used to a noise in your house that you stop hearing after a

while. But it's still there. And when the house gets quiet, you

hear it again. The Greek word Paul uses for conscience here is

the word that also gives us the idea of a witness. Your

conscience is a witness to your own life. It knows what happened.

You can manage it and distract yourself from it. Tell yourself

a story in a way that softens the edges. But you can't make it

forget, because it's still there. What keeps people from dealing

with these things is usually one of two things. The first is

shame. They've carried this so long that facing it feels like

opening something they'd rather leave closed. The second is the

belief that too much time has passed. That going back now

would be more disruptive than letting it stay buried. Both of

these feel like reasons. The problem is that carrying the

thing doesn't make it go away. What keeps a conscience from

clearing is leaving the thing where it is. What clears it is

going back. The girl who walked back into books and books had

carried a $14 book for two years. It was a small thing in the

world's reckoning, but it wasn't small to her conscience because

her conscience knew what happened. And when she finally

dealt with it, she described exactly what Paul is talking

about. She says she wanted to relieve herself of her guilty

conscience. That's what a clear conscience feels like when

you've been carrying something. It feels like setting down

something you didn't fully realize how tired you were from

carrying. There are practical steps to this. If you've wronged

a person, go to that person if you're able. Or if that person

is no longer alive, then bring it to God. If what you're

carrying involves money, pay it back if you can. If you've been

dishonest, tell the truth. These are pretty plain instructions.

They're just costly ones, which is why most people avoid them.

Now, let's get back to the letter. me made and relieved

myself of a guilty conscience. She didn't sign her name. She

explained that she'd read a news story about someone getting

arrested for an overdue library book and couldn't take the risk.

But she signed off with a genuine apology and sent the

book back along with the cash. Mitchell Kaplan, the store owner,

told reporters he was heartened by it. He said she had a

conscience so well developed that it had bothered her for

years and she'd made amends for it. His conclusion was plain.

The lesson is you need to say you're sorry if you screw up and

we all make mistakes in life. She didn't need a theology

degree to figure out what Paul describes in Acts 24-16. She

just couldn't carry the thing any longer so she dealt with it

and she got her conscience back. That's what's available on the

other side. Getting your conscience back. The weight

you've been carrying doesn't have to stay there. Here's

today's challenge. Name the thing that's been sitting in the

back of your mind. You know what it is. Write it down if you need

to make it concrete. Then take one step toward resolving it

this week. Make the call or send the message. Do it before you

talk yourself out of it. The relief that girl described is on

the other side of the step you've been avoiding. Lord, you

know what we've been carrying that we haven't dealt with. You

know the things we've told ourselves we'd address and

haven't. Give us the courage to go back to the people we've

wronged and the grace to make it right. Let the freedom that

comes from a clear conscience be something we experience this

week. In Jesus' name, amen. This podcast is listener supported.

If Daily Devotions for Busy Lives has been an encouragement

to you, would you consider giving a one-time gift or

becoming a monthly supporter? You can give at

dailydevotionsforbusylives.com slash support. Thank you. And

thanks for joining me on Daily Devotions for Busy Lives.

Remember, a clear conscience is something you maintain. It takes

ongoing attention. And the relief on the other side of

dealing with the thing you've been avoiding is worth every

uncomfortable step it takes to get there. Come back next time

for more encouragement to help you live grounded in God's truth.

Until then, God bless and have a great day.