The Costly Parts of Leading Anyone
Leadership of any kind carries a cost most people never see, and trying to absorb all of it eventually wears a leader down and spreads to everyone around them. This episode looks at why one person was never meant to do it alone, and the help God built into leadership from the start.
Key Takeaways
- Leadership's heaviest burdens are often invisible, including making solitary decisions and enduring criticism, which can lead to burnout.
- A leader's burnout creates a 'social contagion effect,' negatively impacting team mood and productivity, with costs escalating at higher leadership levels.
- Mattering erosion, the accumulation of small losses, contributes significantly to leader burnout, highlighting the need for support systems.
- God's design for leadership, as seen in Moses' story, emphasizes distributing responsibilities rather than one person carrying all burdens.
- Asking for help and delegating tasks are not signs of weakness but responsible actions to ensure sustained leadership and prevent personal depletion.
The Invisible Burden: Understanding the Leader Burnout Invisible Costs
Leadership, in any capacity, carries a significant weight that often goes unseen by those being led. This invisible burden, if borne alone, can systematically wear down a leader and, in turn, negatively impact everyone within their sphere of influence. This episode delves into why leadership was never intended to be a solitary endeavor and explores the divine support systems designed to alleviate this pressure from the very beginning.
The true cost of leadership is often hidden. It's in the solitary decisions made without a sounding board, the criticisms absorbed without outward defense, and the unwavering patience extended to those who may not reciprocate. Whether you're guiding a team, a congregation, or a family, the most taxing aspects of leadership are frequently the silent ones – the internal struggles that go unnoticed and unaddressed.
The Escalating Price of Leader Burnout
The feeling of being drained is more than just a personal experience; it has tangible consequences. Research increasingly highlights the significant financial and emotional toll of burnout, particularly at higher leadership levels. A report featured in Fortune, drawing on studies from the American Journal of Preventive Medicine, revealed that the cost of a burned-out individual contributor is approximately $4,000 annually. However, for managers, this cost more than doubles, and for executives, it climbs even higher.
This escalation is attributed to what experts call the social contagion effect. A leader operating on empty can, without saying a word, lower the mood and productivity of an entire room. Employee engagement researcher Leah Phifer identified a critical concept known as mattering erosion – the gradual accumulation of small losses that erodes a leader's sense of purpose and impact. This leads to the poignant question: "Who's supporting the support?"
Ancient Wisdom for Modern Leadership Challenges
The challenge of supporting leaders is not a new one; Scripture addressed it millennia ago. In Exodus 18, Moses found himself adjudicating every dispute among the Israelites from dawn till dusk, shouldering the entire burden alone. His father-in-law, Jethro, observed this for a single day and recognized the unsustainable path Moses was on, warning that both he and the people would wear themselves out.
Jethro's counsel was revolutionary: delegate. He advised Moses to appoint capable and trustworthy leaders to manage minor matters, reserving only the most critical issues for himself. This, Jethro explained, would allow others to help carry the load, making the task lighter for Moses. The solution to Moses' overwhelm wasn't greater personal fortitude, but strategic distribution of responsibility.
God's Design: Sharing the Load
The biblical narrative underscores that a single individual absorbing every aspect of leadership was never God's intention. Such a model inevitably leads to breaking points, with detrimental effects rippling through the community. Jethro's wisdom, echoed thousands of years later by modern research, points to a fundamental truth: leadership is meant to be a shared endeavor. The help was available; Moses simply needed to embrace it.
In this episode, Dr. Bart Leger shares personal insights from his own leadership journey, including the costly decision to absorb criticism and entrust its resolution to God rather than engage in self-defense. The encouragement extends in two vital directions: If you find yourself shouldering every task, consider the profound responsibility in delegating. And if you are a constant source of support for others, yet receive none yourself, it's time to address your own needs. Remember, the leader needs a leader. You were not designed to be a perpetual giver; safeguarding your own well-being is the most effective way to lead those who depend on you.
By the time you finish listening, you'll discover:
- Why the most challenging aspects of leadership are often invisible to others.
- How research on leader burnout demonstrates its widespread impact on teams and organizations.
- The timeless principles from Jethro's advice in Exodus 18 regarding God's design for sharing leadership responsibilities.
You were not built to carry everything alone. Learning to ask for and accept help is essential for sustaining your leadership and caring for the people you serve.
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Frequently Asked Questions
What are the invisible costs of leadership?
The invisible costs include making decisions alone, absorbing criticism without defense, and continually extending patience, all of which wear leaders down over time.
How does leader burnout affect a team?
A burned-out leader creates a 'social contagion effect,' lowering the mood and engagement of everyone around them, even before speaking.
What is 'mattering erosion' in leadership?
Mattering erosion is the slow accumulation of small losses and negative experiences that contribute to burnout, leading to the question of who supports the supporters.
What can leaders learn from Moses and Jethro?
Jethro's counsel to Moses shows that God's design for leadership involves distributing tasks to capable individuals, preventing overwhelm and ensuring sustainability.
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Think about the last time you walked into a room
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while you were running on empty. Maybe it was a Monday morning
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staff meeting. Maybe it was dinner with your family after a
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day that took everything you had. You sat down and you did your
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best to be present and somewhere in the back of your mind, you
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knew you had nothing left to give. Researchers who study this
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at the organizational level have a name for what happens next.
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They call it the social contagion effect. A 2025 report
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in Fortune magazine drawing on research published in the
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American Journal of Preventive Medicine put numbers to what
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most leaders have already experienced. Burned out
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individual contributors cost their companies roughly $4, 000
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a year in lost productivity and turnover. Burned out managers
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cost over $10, 000. Burned out executives cost over $20, 000.
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The reason the numbers jump up as you move up is that
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leadership burnout spreads. An employee engagement researcher
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named Leah Pfeiffer described it this way. When a leader walks
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into a room with their face completely drained, it doesn't
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matter how the people in that room were feeling before they
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walked in. A buoyant team becomes a flat one. The leader
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didn't say a word. We'll come back to what the researchers
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found at the root of it all. But first, welcome to Daily
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Devotions for Busy Lives. I'm Bart Leger. If you're
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responsible for other people, whether that's a team or a
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congregation or a family, listen to today's episode. Let me tell
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you about one of those costs. There have been times I was
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criticized and I chose not to defend myself. I let God handle
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it instead. Part of that was wisdom and part of it was
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knowing my own track record. I figured God could take care of
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it better than I could. And if I jumped in to set the record
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straight, I'd probably make matters worse. Holding back like
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that is one of the costs of leading nobody warns you about.
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And it doesn't feel noble while it's happening. It feels like
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swallowing something. Leadership of any kind comes with a price
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most people never see. The decisions you make alone with no
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one to share the blame if they go wrong. The patience you keep
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extending to people who may never extend it back. If you're
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a parent, a pastor, a coach, or the one your family calls on in
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a crisis, you know that the part of leading that wears you out is
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the part nobody can see and the part nobody thinks to check on.
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Moses lived in that exact problem. He was hearing every
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dispute and settling every argument from sunrise to sundown,
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and nobody was asking how he was holding up. Then his
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father-in-law, Jethro, watched him work for a single day, and
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this is what he said. Listen to Exodus 18, starting at verse 17.
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Now, listen to me, and let me give you a word of advice, and
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may God be with you. You should continue to be the people's
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representative before God, bringing their disputes to him.
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Teach them God's decrees and give them his instructions. Show
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them how to conduct their lives, but select from all the people
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some capable, honest men who fear God and hate bribes.
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Appoint them as leaders over groups of 1,000, 100, 50, and 10.
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They should always be available to solve the people's common
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disputes, but have them bring the major cases to you. Let the
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leaders decide the smaller matters themselves. They will
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help you carry the load, making the task easier for you. If you
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follow this advice, and if God commands you to do so, then you
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will be able to endure the pressures, and all these people
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will go home in peace. Catch what Jethro told him to do.
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Distribute the work. Appoint capable people to handle the
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smaller matters, and bring only the major cases to Moses. The
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fix for an overwhelmed leader was simple and practical. Share
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the load with others. Jethro even names the stakes. Do it
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alone, and you'll wear out. And the people will wear out right
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along with you. That's God's design showing through. One
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person absorbing everything was never the plan, because one
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person absorbing everything eventually breaks, and everyone
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downstream feels it.
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were putting data to something Jethro saw long before the
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research existed. When the leader runs on empty. When the
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leader runs on empty, the whole room pays for it. So here's what
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you can do. If you're the leader doing every job right now,
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handing part of it off to someone else might be the most
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responsible move you can make. It isn't a sign you failed. It's
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how God built his people to function. It runs the other
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direction, too. If you're pouring into everyone and no
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one's pouring into you, I believe that deserves some
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attention this week. The leader needs a leader. The caregiver
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needs care. You are never meant to be the only one who gives.
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The root cause of leadership burnout, the researchers found,
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was not workload alone. It was something they called mattering
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erosion, building up through what another researcher
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described as micro-losses. And it brought Pfeiffer to one
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question I haven't been able to set aside. Who's supporting the
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support? We treat managers like they're buffers in the
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organization. They're the ones we're expecting to absorb change,
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deliver the hard news, and mediate emotional challenges.
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But we're not checking in on their capacity, is what she said.
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Moses sat in the middle of that problem for years before Jethro
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showed up and told him what it was doing to him. He was doing
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every job, hearing every dispute, absorbing every complaint, and
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nobody was asking how he was doing. Jethro looked at the
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situation and said plainly, This is going to wear you out and is
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going to wear the people out, too. God's design for leadership
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includes distribution. One person absorbing everything was
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never the plan. And if you're the one absorbing everything
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right now, that question deserves an answer. Who is
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supporting you? Here's today's challenge. Name one thing you've
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been doing alone that someone else could help you with and ask
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him this week. Maybe it's handing off a responsibility
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you've been holding on to out of habit. Maybe it's calling one
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person and telling them the truth about how full your plate
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has gotten. You weren't built to absorb everything, and asking
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for help is how you keep leading the people who depend on you.
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Father, thank you that you've never asked us to do this alone.
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worn down to nothing, and you sent him help before he broke.
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We confess that we wear our overload like a badge and forget
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to ask for support you've already provided. Show us who to
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lean on and give us the humility to actually do it. And for the
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one absorbing criticism without a word in their own defense,
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thank you that you see it, and you'll set the record straight
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better than we ever could. In Jesus' name, amen. This podcast
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runs on the generosity of listeners just like you. If
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Daily Devotions for Busy Lives has encouraged you, would you
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consider supporting it with a one-time gift or by becoming a
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monthly supporter? Every contribution helps keep these
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devotions coming every week. You can give at
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DailyDevotionsForBusyLives.com
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Thank you so much. And thanks for joining me on Daily
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Devotions for Busy Lives. Remember, one person absorbing
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everything was never God's plan, and asking for help is part of
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leading well. Come back next time for more encouragement to
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help you live grounded in God's truth. Until then, God bless and
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have a great day.
