When You Notice You've Been Becoming Bitter

Greg McLogan's marriage ended in 2007, and it

ended with a betrayal. That kind of thing leaves a mark. For a

while afterward, Greg did what a lot of us would do. He replayed

it in his mind. He nursed the anger and went back over the

ways he'd been wronged again and again, until it hardened into

something worse. The hurt was turning into bitterness, and the

bitterness was pulling him down into a depression he'd never saw

coming. Greg had arrived at the place where bitterness takes

people, and from there, he had a choice, the same one most of us

will face at some point. We'll come back to what he chose, but

first,

welcome to Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. I'm Bart Leger. If

you've noticed yourself being hardened by bitterness lately,

stay with me, because there's a way back from it. And I know how

this feels. Many years ago, at a church I served before this one,

some of the leaders treated me badly. It went on long enough

that I started to notice something growing in me toward

them, a resentment I didn't recognize as bitterness at first.

When I finally saw it for what it was, I admitted it to God. I

also confessed the part I'd played in the whole mess,

because I wasn't blameless either, then I released it to

him. The bitterness didn't vanish overnight, but slowly it

went away, and I got back to myself. Here's how bitterness

works. And it's sneakier than most people would expect. It

rarely arrives as one big decision to resent someone. It

comes on slowly. There's a disappointment you can't process,

or a relationship that ended without the apology you were

owed. You keep turning it over and over, and over time, without

you deciding it, you become a slightly different person.

Quicker to assume the worst about people. Quicker to expect

to be let down. You look up one day, and you realize you've been

more closed off than you were. Paul saw this in people, and he

didn't treat it as something small. He put it near the top of

a list of what to clear out of your life. Listen to Ephesians 4,

31.

Notice the verb Paul uses, "get rid of," that's active. Paul

treats bitterness as something you have to deliberately clear

out, like rot in a wall before it spreads. The verb assumes it

won't leave on its own, and there's a reason he's so direct:

"Bitterness doesn't stay where you put it. Left alone, it grows,

and it feeds on the thing you keep rehearsing. Every time you

replay how you were wronged, you water it." Greg found that out.

The more he went back over the ways he'd been hurt, the deeper

it sank, until it pulled him into a depression he never saw

coming. Here's the part I want you to hold on to be here,

because it's where the hope is. Bitterness is one of the few

sins that mostly punishes the person holding it. The person

who hurt you may not think about you at all, and while you lose

sleep and lose joy over what they did, Paul wanted that

freedom for you. Clearing the bitterness out is how you take

your own life back from what they did. Clearing it out starts

the way Greg did and the way I had to. The first move is to

name it for what it is, to drop softer words and admit it's

bitterness. The second is to take it to God, confess your own

part in the story, and to release the whole thing to him,

for the slow healing only he can give.

Greg admitted he had become an angry, bitter man, and it was

costing him. Then he took it to God. He confessed the whole

thing, all the resentment he'd been feeding, and asked God to

handle what he couldn't. And here's the part that took

courage. He looked squarely at his own part in how the marriage

came apart, instead of keeping the whole story aimed at the

person who hurt him. Greg came out the other side, and these

days he helps other people find their footing after divorce. The

apostle Paul once told the Ephesians to get rid of all

bitterness, rage, and anger. Clearing that out is how you

keep it from growing into something that runs your life,

because bitterness will eat the joy right out of you if you let

it stay. The way back is the way Greg found. Name what happened

and bring it to God, and trust him with the healing you can't

manage on your own. Here's today's of the wound you keep

coming back to, the one you notice yourself closing off

around. Name it out loud to God today. The way you tell a friend

what happened. Then, Ask him one question about your own part.

"Lord, where was I wrong in this to?" Confess whatever he shows

you, and release the person and the whole situation into God's

hands. You may have to do it more than once. Bitterness that

took years to grow doesn't always leave in an afternoon.

But the day you start clearing it out is the day it stops

running your life. Father, you know the wounds we've been

turning over, the ones that have started to change us. Thank you

that you don't leave us stuck in bitterness, and that you welcome

us when we bring it to you. Give us the courage to name it, and

the humility to own our part, instead of aiming the whole

story at someone else. Take the resentment we've been feeding,

and do the slow work of healing that we can't do ourselves.

who need us. In Jesus' name, amen. If this episode encouraged

you today, would you share it with someone who might need to

hear it? Just go to

dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/275 , and copy the link. It only

takes a second, and it might make a real difference in

someone's day. Thanks for joining me on Daily Devotions

for Busy Lives. Remember, bitterness comes on slowly, and

it clears out the same way—one deliberate step of naming it and

handing it to God. Come back next time for more encouragement

to help you live grounded in God's truth. Until then, God

bless, and have a great day!