When You've Said Something You Wish You Could Take Back

The phone rang, and the caller used the name Tanya

hadn't gone by in over a decade, her maiden name. She almost hung

up. Sure, it was a telemarketer. Tanya, this is Jen Haas from

Highland High School. It took her a second. Then, it came back.

She and Jen had sung in the chorale together more than 20

years earlier. She hadn't heard Jen's voice since. And Jen

hadn't called to catch up. She'd called because she was dying.

She had been diagnosed with ALS and given three to five years,

and she decided to spend some of the time she had left reaching

out to the people she'd wronged, making things right before she

ran out of time. Tanya's name was on that list. Jen didn't

ease into it. She went straight to a day in high school when

she'd said something to Tanya she'd never been able to forget.

She'd called Tanya a racial slur. For two decades, those words had

haunted her. Now, with the clock running out, she said them out

loud to the one person who had every right to hold them against

her. And she asked Tanya to forgive her. Then she waited to

hear what Tanya would say. We'll come back to what Tanya said,

but first...

Welcome to Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. I'm Bart Leger. Let

me tell you about my own mouth. I've pastored a long time, and

more than once I've said something, either from up front

or in a meeting or in person somewhere that came out wrong

and it hurt someone. I didn't mean it the way it hit them, but

that didn't undo it. I've had to go and find that person

afterward, own it, and apologize. And it's humbling every single

time. And it's always better than pretending I never said it.

Most of us can remember a moment like that. The sentence you

fired off in an email before you cooled down. The remark about

somebody that got repeated and spread further than you ever

meant it to. You'd give a lot to reach back and pull those words

out of the air, but you can't. That's the trouble with words.

Once they're out, they keep going without you. James had a

word picture for this, and it's not a gentleman. Listen to James

3, verses 5 and 6.

A spark. That's all a word is when it leaves your mouth. Small

and quick. Easy to flick out without thinking. But James

watched what a spark does to a dry forest, and he said the

tongue is like that. One sentence can burn through a

friendship or a reputation and keep burning long after you've

forgotten you struck the match. Here's the part we can't dodge.

Words do damage that words alone can't fix. You can't just say

sorry and have the fire never have happened. The forest, so to

speak, is still burned. But the story doesn't have to end there.

You can go to the person you hurt and tell them the truth

about what you said without excuses, and then let the repair

begin. It won't erase the fire, but it can start something new

growing in the ashes. And you don't do it alone. God goes with

you when you go into that conversation because making it

right is exactly the kind of thing he gives grace for. Here's

what Tanya said. Honestly, I have no memory of that incident.

And it was the truth. The words that had haunted Jen for 20

years had left no mark on Tanya at all.

then Tanya, who never did this with strangers, heard herself

ask Jen whether she believed in Jesus. Jen said she believed in

God, but she drifted, and she didn't feel she had much of a

future left to believe in. That call, the one Jen made to clear

an old debt, became the start of a friendship. Tanya began

visiting and taped Bible verses over Jen's bed. Over the years

that followed, as ALS took nearly everything from Jen's

body, the faith that started on that call was the one thing it

couldn't reach.

Think about that. The apology Jen was terrified to make became

the doorway to the thing that held her at the end. She almost

took those words to her grave unspoken. Instead, she picked up

the phone, and God did something with her courage that she never

could have planned. That's what he does when you go and make it

right. He meets you there, and sometimes he does far more than

repair. Here's today's challenge. Bring to mind the word you wish

you could take back and the person on the other end of it.

This go to them. It may be a call or a text. If that's the

only door open, and then tell them what you said was wrong and

that you're sorry. Then don't defend it. Don't wait until

you're dying to do it, and ask God to go with you because he

will. Father, you know the words each of us wishes we could take

back and the people they wounded. Thank you that a burned place

doesn't have to stay a ruin, that you bring new life out of

ashes. Give us the courage to go to the ones we've hurt and tell

the truth without excuses. Go with us into those conversations

and do what only you can do on the other side of our obedience.

In Jesus' name, amen. If you need prayer today, I'd love to

hear from you.

I listen to every single one, and it'd be an honor to bring

your name before the Lord. Thanks for joining me on Daily

Devotions for Busy Lives. Remember, words can start a fire

you can't put out on your own, but you can still go make it

right, and God goes with you when you do. Come back next time

for more encouragement to help you live grounded in God's truth.

Until then, God bless and have a great day.