When Someone You Love Is Struggling with Addiction

Speak:00:00:00

Charles and Janet Morris were the kind of parents who

Speak:00:00:03

prayed for their kids, and they needed to be. Their oldest son,

Speak:00:00:07

Jeff, never quite fit in, and as he got older, his behavior grew

Speak:00:00:12

more Charles and Janet spent years watching him move in a

Speak:00:00:16

direction they couldn't turn him from, praying for him constantly,

Speak:00:00:19

and doing what they could to keep him connected to the

Speak:00:00:25

coming to services on his

Speak:00:00:31

dead from a drug overdose. Charles went on the radio next

Speak:00:00:37

morning. He was a Christian broadcaster, and it was what he

Speak:00:00:40

did, but the grief in his voice was something his listeners had

Speak:00:00:43

never heard from him one no parent is ever prepared for.

Speak:00:00:53

We'll come back to what that happened in the months that

Speak:00:00:55

followed.

Speak:00:01:00

to Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. I'm Bart Leger. Over the

Speak:00:01:04

years, I've prayed with many people who were carrying a grief

Speak:00:01:08

that most of the people around them couldn't see. Some were

Speak:00:01:11

praying for a child, others for a spouse or a

Speak:00:01:17

and no matter what they tried, they couldn't reach them. If

Speak:00:01:21

that's where you are today, I want you to know something

Speak:00:01:24

before anything What you're carrying is one of the most

Speak:00:01:27

draining things a person can hold on to. The love that

Speak:00:01:31

doesn't go away, but it feels often like the ground beneath

Speak:00:01:36

your feet is ready to give way at any moment. You've made

Speak:00:01:39

promises to yourself about what you'd do if they used again, and

Speak:00:01:43

then you've broken those promises. You've swung between

Speak:00:01:47

protecting them and pulling back, between anger that surprised you,

Speak:00:01:51

and a love that wouldn't quit, and neither one seems to move

Speak:00:01:55

things forward. I'm not going to offer you a formula today,

Speak:00:01:59

because Scripture doesn't really give us one. What it does give

Speak:00:02:02

us is a God who knows this particular grief from the inside.

Speak:00:02:07

Here's what He said about it in Hosea 11: 8-9: Oh, how can I

Speak:00:02:13

give you up, Israel? How can I let you go? How can I destroy

Speak:00:02:17

you like Adma or demolish you like Zeboim? My heart is torn

Speak:00:02:22

within me, and my compassion overflows? No, I will not

Speak:00:02:27

unleash my fierce anger. I will not completely destroy Israel,

Speak:00:02:31

for I am a God and not a mere mortal. I am the Holy One living

Speak:00:02:35

among you, and I will not come to destroy." God is speaking to

Speak:00:02:40

a people who have repeatedly run from him. His heart is torn, his

Speak:00:02:51

compassion overflows, He knows what it costs to keep pursuing

Speak:00:02:55

someone who keeps leaving. That's the God who is with you

Speak:00:02:59

in this. He knows what it feels like to love someone who won't

Speak:00:03:03

come home. He knows what it costs to stay open when every

Speak:00:03:07

indication says to close the door, and He hasn't given up on

Speak:00:03:11

the person you love any more than he gave up on Israel. Now,

Speak:00:03:15

here's where it gets a bit complicated, and I want to say

this carefully:00:03:18

there's a difference between love that

this carefully:00:03:22

holds the door open and love that lets the destruction keep

this carefully:00:03:25

going unchecked. Funding the addiction or pretending it isn't

this carefully:00:03:29

happening doesn't protect your loved one. It's a way of letting

this carefully:00:03:32

the addiction go on longer. That line is different for every

this carefully:00:03:37

family, and most families need outside help to find it. A

this carefully:00:03:41

pastor or a counselor, someone who's walked this before, can

this carefully:00:03:45

help you see it. You were never meant to navigate this alone.

this carefully:00:03:49

What God models in Hosea is this: He keeps the door open, and He

this carefully:00:03:54

keeps loving, and He doesn't stop being who He is. His

this carefully:00:03:58

compassion overflows, and He remains who He is. He offers you

this carefully:00:04:03

something to hold on to that doesn't depend on your loved

this carefully:00:04:07

one's decision. It's an anchor that holds regardless of what

this carefully:00:04:11

they choose. Now, let's come back to Charles and Janet. After

this carefully:00:04:14

Jeff died, Charles and Janet didn't have long before they

this carefully:00:04:18

were watching their younger son, Peter walked toward the same

this carefully:00:04:22

place. Peter had told his parents he believed in Jesus

this carefully:00:04:25

when he was four years old, and he grew up surrounded by faith,

this carefully:00:04:29

with Christian friends and a family that kept God at the

this carefully:00:04:31

center of their home. Then, one Sunday, not long after Jeff's

this carefully:00:04:35

death, Charles watched Peter pass on taking communion. And

this carefully:00:04:39

that same week, Peter looked at his parents and said he didn't

this carefully:00:04:43

want to be a Christian anymore. Charles said later he would

this carefully:00:04:47

never forget the lump in his Peter's story didn't end in

this carefully:00:04:53

tragedy, but standing at that second door, not knowing how it

this carefully:00:04:56

would resolve, was the thing that forged something in Charles

this carefully:00:05:00

and Janet that no amount of comfortable faith ever could.

this carefully:00:05:04

God's grace is for the ones caught in addiction, and is for

this carefully:00:05:07

the ones who keep standing at the door. Charles and Janet

this carefully:00:05:10

stood at two of those doors. They prayed through what no

this carefully:00:05:14

parent should have to pray through. And they came out the

this carefully:00:05:17

other side with a faith that had been tested by the very thing

this carefully:00:05:21

they feared most. What God forged in them at those doors

this carefully:00:05:25

was an easy tool, but it was theirs. And he's doing the same

this carefully:00:05:29

work in you right now, whether you can feel it or not. Here's

this carefully:00:05:33

today's challenge: If you're carrying this, do one thing this

this carefully:00:05:37

week. Tell someone. It might be a pastor or a counselor. Someone

this carefully:00:05:42

who won't minimize it or offer you a quick answer. You don't

this carefully:00:05:45

have have to have it all figured out. You just have to stop

this carefully:00:05:48

carrying it And if you're not sure where to turn, there are

this carefully:00:05:52

groups out there that exist specifically for the people who

this carefully:00:05:55

love someone in addiction. There are groups like Al-Anon. There

this carefully:00:05:59

are groups like Celebrate Recovery that can help someone

this carefully:00:06:02

who is in addiction. They understand this in ways most

this carefully:00:06:06

people around you can't. Lord, you know the ones listening

this carefully:00:06:10

today who dealing with this. You know their names and the name of

this carefully:00:06:14

the person they love. You know how long they've been praying

this carefully:00:06:17

and how tired they are. Meet them where you met Charles and

this carefully:00:06:22

Janet in those long years of waiting and in the grief that

this carefully:00:06:26

didn't resolve the way they hoped. Lord God, I pray that you

this carefully:00:06:29

would sustain them and give them what they need to keep standing

this carefully:00:06:31

at that door and let them trust that you've not stopped pursuing

this carefully:00:06:35

the one they love. In Jesus' name, amen. If Daily Devotions

this carefully:00:06:40

for Busy Lives has been an encouragement to you, would you

this carefully:00:06:42

consider supporting it with a one-time gift or by becoming a

this carefully:00:06:47

monthly supporter? Every contribution helps keeps these

this carefully:00:06:50

devotions coming every week. You can give at

this carefully:00:06:53

dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/support . I'll have the link in the show

this carefully:00:06:58

notes. Thank you so much. And thanks for joining me on Daily

this carefully:00:07:02

Devotions for Busy Lives. Remember, God knows what it

this carefully:00:07:06

feels like to love someone who won't come home. And He hasn't

this carefully:00:07:09

stopped. Come back next time for more encouragement to help you

this carefully:00:07:13

live grounded in God's truth. Until then, God bless and have a

this carefully:00:07:18

great day.