When You Feel Like a Burden to Others

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She hadn't eaten a meal in two days. She was sitting in

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her car in the church parking lot after the service, watching

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everyone else walk to their cars, laughing and making lunch plans,

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looking completely fine. And she thought, I can't tell any of

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these people what's happening in my life right now. I'd love to,

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and I really need something. But she didn't know them, and she

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thought they wouldn't care. She decided that her problems were

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too much to hand to someone else, that asking would be an

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inconvenience, and she didn't like asking for help. So she

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smiled when people passed her window and waved, and she

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started her car and drove home alone to an empty refrigerator.

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Here's the thing about that moment. She had it all backward.

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We'll come back to that kind of thinking in a moment. But

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first, welcome to Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. I'm

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Bart Leger. Today, I want to talk to the person who tries to

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carry things alone. Not because you prefer it that way, but

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because somewhere along the way, you picked up a belief that your

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needs are too much, that asking for help will inconvenience

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people, that if anyone really knew the weight of what you're

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carrying, it would drive them away. So, you minimize it. You

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say you're fine when you're not. You find ways to manage quietly,

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and you only reach out when things have gotten so bad that

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you have no other option. If that describes you, I want to

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speak directly to your belief. That belief is a lie. And it's a

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lie that's keeping you isolated from something God designed

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specifically for you. Here's what Romans 15, verses 1 and 2

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says,

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That passage is describing something mutual. The strong

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bear with the struggles of the weak. Those who have capacity in

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a given moment carry for those who don't. And then, when that

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season turns and it goes the other way, it's not charity.

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It's the body of Christ functioning the way God designed

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it to function. Galatians 6, 2 makes it even more direct. It

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says,

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Burden bearing is not optional in the Christian life. It's

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described as obedience. Which means that when you refuse to

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let anyone carry anything with you, you're not being noble.

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You're actually making it harder for the people around you to

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obey what God has called them to do. I want you to think about

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that for a moment. The person in your life who wants to help you,

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the one you've been protecting or you think you've been

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protecting from your needs, and their ability to fulfill their

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calling as a member of the body of Christ is partly tied to

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whether you let them in. Your willingness to receive is part

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of what makes community work. Now, I understand where the fear

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comes from. For some of us, it was learned early. We asked for

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help and it wasn't there. We were told, either directly or

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indirectly, that our needs were too much, that we were too

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sensitive, or that we should figure it out on our own. When

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we're shut down like that, it hurts. Events like these have a

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way of writing rules we carry into every relationship

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afterward. Rules that say, don't ask, don't be a burden. But

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those rules were written by hurtful experiences, not by God.

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And, to be honest, sometimes by pride. And they're keeping you

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from something He specifically designed for your good.

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Ecclesiastes 4.10 puts it plainly. If one person falls,

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the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is

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in real trouble. You see, you were not designed to fall alone

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when you do fall. Don't try to be the strong one who never asks

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for help. Let people help you. They may be more willing than

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you think. And here's something else worth knowing. The shame of

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needing help is almost always worse than the actual experience

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of asking for it. Most people, when given the chance to show up

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for someone they care about, don't feel inconvenienced. As a

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matter of fact, just the opposite. They probably feel

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honored. They feel useful. Letting someone help you is most

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often a gift you give them. And it's an act of trust that can

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deepen a relationship. So let me tell you what Stanford

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researchers discovered about this kind of thinking. They ran

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a series of experiments where people needed help and had to

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ask for it. From strangers, from acquaintances, and from friends.

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Before each ask, researchers recorded what the help seekers

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predicted would happen. They predicted people would feel put

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out or inconvenienced and maybe even annoyed. But they were

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wrong. Consistently and significantly wrong. The people

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who were asked for help didn't feel burdened. someone who

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needed them. The researchers put it plainly. We almost always

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underestimate how willing the people around us are to help.

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And we almost always underestimate how inconvenienced

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they will feel when we ask. In other words, the story we tell

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ourselves. The one that says we are too much or that our needs

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are an imposition. That asking will drive people away is not

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just unhelpful. It's measurably, reliably wrong. And if that is

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true of strangers and how much more is it true of people who

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love you? People who follow the same Jesus and the people who

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have been called by Scripture to bear your burdens with you. Your

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needs are not an imposition. They are an invitation for the

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body of Christ to be what it was made to be. And the people

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around you may be waiting for you to give them the chance.

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Here's today's challenge. Identify one thing you've been

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carrying alone that you were never meant to carry alone. And

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it doesn't have to be the biggest thing. Just the one real

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thing that you're carrying right now. Then, identify one person

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in your life who would want to know about it. This week, tell

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them. You don't need to prepare a speech. And you don't have to

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try to explain everything at once. Just open the door a

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little and let someone in. That one act of honesty is where

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community begins. Lord, you know how long some of us have been

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carrying things alone. And you know the fear underneath it, the

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old wounds and the belief that our needs are too much. We ask

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that you heal that. Remind us that you designed us for each

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other. That burden-bearing is obedience. And that letting

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someone in is an act of trust. Give us the courage to ask for

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what we need. In Jesus' name, amen. If Daily Devotions for

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Busy Lives has encouraged you, I'd love to pray for you.

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Whatever you're carrying right now, you can leave me a

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voicemail at dailydevotionsforbusylives.com

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slash voicemail. I listen to every single one, and I would be

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honored to bring your name before the Lord. Thanks for

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joining me on Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. Remember, your

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needs are not an imposition. They are an invitation for the

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body of Christ to be exactly what God designed it to be. Come

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back next time for more encouragement to help you live

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grounded in God's truth. Until then, God bless, and have a

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great day.